Sunday, October 30, 2005

where's the remote?

Why don't I watch TV One's 6pm bulletin anymore? Let me count the ways...

cutesy dog stories... stories about wine festivals & fashion shows bore the crap outta me (unless there's violence or mayhem involved)... constant recitation of Labour Party talking points... the beatification of St Helen Elizabeth... asking Joe-on-the-street (fer goodness sake!) to opine on important, topical matters requiring specialist commentary... referring to cold-blooded Islamic homicidal maniacs as "militants" - they even labeled them "activists" once, after one particularly brutal killing spree in Nigeria... watching a beaming Wendy wax delirious lauding our "historic" civil union bill the day it passed THEN the sight of two geezers kissing (lifelong mental scarring) when bill became law... they got rid of Holmes - our best TV "entertainer" ever, IMHO... Susan Vanilla Woods follows - 90 minutes of sappy, white, saccharine women is bad for the diabetes... the endless slandering of President Bush... importing ABC, CBS, CNN clips from the US to slander him... importing BBC clips to slander him... the endless slandering of National & ACT... the trite banter between presenters... reportage has become editorializing, editorializing has become social activism... schmaltzy 3-hanky hard-luck stories & the Janet MacIntyre-ification of NZ TV in general...

...should really mention Judy's $800K, yet strangely can't seem to get worked up over this overly generous use of my taxes. My extreme kuri-eats-kuri worldview dictates: if you can get it, go for it & good luck! But since we're in whinge mode, I'll include it... Judy's obscene salary...

But let's not dismiss ALL junk TV...
Discovered a fab noo reality show - The Next American Supermodel, or some such. A clutch of youthful belles duke it out to be voted 'Pretty Idol'. Perfectly conceived! The essence of great TV: stunning visuals (young models) & drama (chicks at each other's throats). From the brief glimpse I got: one was crying, another was laughing at her; a lezo came out, another was disgusted by it; the bully was about to be dealt to by the newly assertive & retributive victim; some were spying on others, others plotting, the rest just gossiping and complaining. All, however, keen to share most intimate thoughts with camera. All had superb body-language, throwing tantrums with elegant panache and style-y exquisite poses. All that in one segment between ads. Dontcha just love Hollywood crap? The Arabs do, apparently.

No comments: