Thursday, January 10, 2008

stars in my eyes

I feel so lovey-dovey this evening pondering the nature of love. What is love? It's that heady, intoxicating, floating feeling reserved for that one special other. My objet d'amour is Michelle Rodriguez whom I probably spend more time obsessing over than is psychologically healthy. I'd be lying if I said the feeling was mutual. She is, after all, a famous star who doesn't even know I exist. But so what? People who insist romance be reciprocated are just needy co-dependent types (imo). They're neurotics with severe emotional problems who need a therapist. Not me, I'm self-reliant. By salivating over MR photos, all my anguish vanishes in a haze of starry-eyed reverie. No need for therapists.

Yes, I do like 'ethnic' women (any ethnicity will do), and Michelle reminds me of one of those really pretty [sic] Maori [sic] girls. Believe me, occasionally you do come across a heart-stopping indigenous maiden (genetic mutation, perhaps?) Who knows? Maybe MR has some Maori ancestry? Regardless, I absolutely love her. The Sexiest Woman Ever; if fantasies could generate electricity, I'd plug an electrode in my skull and solve all the world's energy problems.

For those who don't know, Michelle Rodriguez is an actress who played a tough Hispanic cop in the TV series LOST, a combative Latina policewoman in the movie S.W.A.T., and showed her incredible acting range portraying a feisty Mexican law enforcement officer in Resident Evil. Yet in a cruel, ironic twist of fate, the real life Ms Rodriguez is now languishing in jail for several drink driving offences. Yup, she's a time-serving law-breaker (more evidence of Maori ancestry, perhaps?)

I'm detecting a note of disapproval from a few of you law-abiding readers. So she's a criminal? So what? Oh jail-bait, schmail-bait! Don't think of it as 'crime', look at it as 'civil disobedience.' Or call it "libertarianism in action." Can I get a "hear, hear!" from all those tired of nanny-state's draconian regulations?

And who am I to judge? I'm hardly an angel, myself (don't be fooled by my halo, billowing white wings, and tendency to levitate engulfed in an aura of radiant light). And who are you to judge? Instead of your sniffy, finger-wagging condemnation, consider the benefits she brings. I spend my time fantasising about her at home, when I could instead be out there and up to mischief. See? She's helping to keep crime down and me out of jail. If I wasn't daydreaming of MR, I might have wandered outside and been hit by a car crossing the road. She saved my life! How can I not adore her? In the meantime, I've posted her pic so you can adore her, too.

P.S. The photo, probably copyrighted, was shamelessly pilfered from her website. If she discovers my misdeed and it upsets her, all I can say is: "Come on, my darling! You're in prison, so you're hardly in a position to judge me for any wrong-doing, are you?"

Lots of lust love,


Anonymous said...

lovely rant! but actually shes out of jail. check her site again.

Phil said...

Thanks for the heads up, Anon.

Good news indeed for us MR fanboys.