Monday, December 12, 2005

Hey mate - Peess off!

The multicultural dream unravels
Clearly upset over the loss of the 3rd One-Dayer, Sydneysiders attack Middle Easterners in riots that have the Diversity Drones despairing: "Why caint we all jus' git along?" Must have missed Anthropology 101. Ethnocentricism: we hate 'em coz we're better than they are, and the feeling's mutual. End of lesson. Why do so many refuse to acknowledge this most fundamental cultural principle?

Lucky I'm not there! I look 'Middle-Eastern' with my mulatto heritage.
I don't mind being despised, but please, hate me for the 'right' reasons! I'm always being mistaken for an Arab. You wouldn't believe the filthy looks I got immediately after 9/11. Even more than the usual filthy looks I get as a scruffy, unkempt Maori with bad attitude & sour look on face. Fortunately, my natural born egomania means little time's ever wasted mulling others' opinions.

could try harder...
Our school exam marking cock-up keeps mushrooming with now 11
(possibly 12?) NCEA standards to be remarked. Bill English continues his gallant battle to slay Labour's Frankenstein-like creation currently wreaking havoc with our nation's future education. Thanks also Stuff website for informing us [like media outlets used to in the good ol' days] on this issue of great public concern. NZHerald, unusually quiet on a matter which makes Helen's govt look bad. Can't figure out why...

Grannies with attitude
Heart rending story of Grey Power as elderly petanque players deal to burglar at clubrooms. Never Underestimate the power of our national sporting ethos:
A very brave man, Bob Vernal, took him in a flying tackle and brought him down on asphalt...
saying he probably would have been red-carded for the elbow into the jaw tackle had it taken place on the rugby field
It's OK, Mr Vernal; replay shows you were on side! Well done! Player of The Year!
Police arrived to find intruder hog-tied by seniors. Yeehaw! Kick-@ss Kaumatua!


TMonkey said...

hey, iv just finishd 7th form, i live in welly too, i also did a scholarship and now im waiting for my results...

this year the exam papers were realy confusing, questions werent orderd progresively in order of dificulty, as all previous ones hav been, the difficulty of individual standards varied incredibly right across they board. Sum i swear culdve been achieved with little but general knowledge.

From my 3 years of experience in the NCEA system, sitting internal and external standards and then recieving my results... id say the government hav made a right royal screw up. Not with changing the system, but just by the way its been changed... the first post i put on blog has a little speel about NCEA, if u get a chance u can check it out. No doubt il hav something to complain about wen i get my results too, wonder how long thatl b...

phil said...

Hey, fellow Welly-ite. Aint it grand livin in the Most Beautiful City In The World? :-)
You have my sympathy goin thru all that NCEA huff - it's a real shame to be mucked around like that. Hang in there, buddy! You're a Wellingtonian, You Can Do Anything!

Wanna play a game? Only Welly-ites can play this game.

The game's called "If I had heaps of nukes and needed to test them in NZ, which 2 or 3 (max 4) cities/towns would unfortunately have to be turned into a radioactive sea of glass for testing purposes?"


#1 - You can not bomb the same city more than once.
Yes, I know how tempting it is to go "Nth Harbour/ Akld/ C-Manukau" (just to get every last little one of them) but this rule just makes it more fun.

#2 - You decide how big/explosive/ deadly bombs are. Death toll/ destruction rate is entirely up to you.

HINT: Don't just immediately think "Auckland" and press the button. Imagine the benefits of somewhere like Chch - Barnett, Dyson, Dalziel, their kooky mayor, and if bomb's big enough, Anderton... [target rich environment] Think Strategically!

SCORING per casualty:

Green voters 100000000000000
Progressive voters 500000000
Labour voters 200000000
Nat voters -2
NZF/UF/TMP voters 1

ACT voters miraculously escape completely unscathed despite being within a 2m radius of the blast.

MISC: You're allowed to bomb tiny villages and townships - but it's generally considered heartless [these are people's lives we're talking about here] and frowned upon. Although not technically against the rules.

You go first!

TMonkey said...

Hmm... interesting lol, i'll give it my best shot.

OTAGO- Just because of the damn uni campaign, it really does some good reverse psychology on the brain. I really DON'T wanna get there, so 'GET OVER IT!'

Hey, they say so themselves...

Plus, I'm sure the large student base gets me some big points from all the Greens supporters :D

(I was definately tempted to go straight at the jaffas...)

phil said...

Damn, you're good! Are you sure you haven't played this before?
you've taken out Dave Benson-Pope (extra points for Ministers)
and Metiria Turei (bonus extra jackpot)

Your only slight misjudgment is that most of the Uni students have gone home. So you've only managed really to wipe out the few summer-schoolers.
But still, a very impressive first effort!

My turn: Hutt Valley, take that Mallard!
Yikes, hope you don't live out the Hutt - if so, sorry for incinerating you, hope you can forgive me?

TMonkey said...

You're lucky, no i don't live in the hutt...

I've never played before, but i do wateva i do well! :D

Nice hit on Mallard by the way...

Second Hit: Total annihilation of... WAIHEKE ISLAND!! Just cos the residents of the island can operate an independent economy of sorts due to their isolation. The rich will just keep gettin richer, damn them... Several controversial people inhabit that island (not sure how many politicians though)

Also, i think an explosion at sea will just look cool :D

phil said...

AMAZING!! I've never seen such natural talent! You may have just set a New World Record.

Your score increases x 100000 coz you included "Total annihilation"
Add the regular points for all the Green Party members - lots of them on Waiheke
Multiply that by 10 for every Controversial Person "voted off the island" (so to speak)
And you have an almost unassailabe lead.

I'm starting to panic now...

My turn: Nelson (including Motueka). If my timing's right, I might just have managed to 'gatecrash' their annual hippy/druggy arty/peacnik festivals. Bound to be worth LOTS of points...

TMonkey said...

hehehehe :D im only half way done...

u should lose points for killing my aunty and uncle, actually i think their away on holiday, again, you're lucky...

hmm... my brains not thinking very well at the moment, do i lose points for stalling??? it's a strategical tactic...

phil said...

Losing points? No, you're fine!

Hey, no one's gonna argue with someone with tons of nukes on 'em, not when they're looking for a target.

Especially after they've just dramatically altered Dunedin & Waiheke's landscape.

You can bomb at your leisure. They're your bombs, and you can explode them Whenever & Wherever you like.