Thursday, January 19, 2006

Dumb Maoris

who ya gonna call?
Iraena Asher's mum furious blood not exacted on release of PCA report into daughter's disappearance. I have aroha* for her mum & whanau, yet I don't blame the cops. IIRC, Iraena who suffered mood disorders, had been boozing & taking drugs. She made 111 call (emergencies only if life/property immediately threatened) & wandered away from house providing refuge. Hate to sound callous, but imo she's a victim of her own stupidity.

Never underestimate the sheer brainlessness of: (1) Women (2) Maoris (3) Beautiful people, who often live charmed lives expending minimal cognitive effort as people trip over themselves, eager to help & please.
Growing up around Maori women, I recognise Iraena's profile: garden variety drunken ditz, spinning from one dizzy adventure to the next. An aspiring model, with narcissism well developed; a good-time party girl cum attention-hog diva, demanding adoration, pity or rescuing. Perhaps this time, a frolic too far?

Who's to blame for her disappearance? Hard to say, but surely not the police - who aren't baby-sitters & treated her phonecall full of semi-incoherent mutterings of feeling unsafe - and no names or details of specific threats - with due diligence it deserved. A drunk, stoned chick in the city rings cops & tells them she's scared... Doesn't sound like an 'emergency' to me. No wonder she's become MSM's darling mythic tragic heroine: pretty, innocent, vulnerable, mysteriously vanishes, and perfect victim foil for big bad boys in blue, whom the NZPA hate for some reason. Sorry, Asher family, I truly feel for your loss. But your anger at the cops, understandable during grief, is misplaced.

* aroha
Please, please, please a million times! "Aroha" means 'sadness' or 'condolences'; at best 'empathy' - but NOT 'love'. Drives me croizey when translated as 'lurrrv'. Especially "Arohanui" (lot's of love). No, no, no! "Arohanui" means something like, "most deepest heartfelt sympathies". When you say "arohanui" to someone, you're actually saying, "oh my goodness, I feel so terribly sad for you!" or similar.
(just my little personal linguistic hang-up of the week - had to get off chest)

yours neurotically,

More dumb Maoris
My family. Have been disgusted at own whanau (sisters & cousins) and their hell brats, whilst visiting intensive care at hospital recently. They just let their kids loose, running 'round the joint causing havoc & commotion. Had to growl them HEAPS, much to their clueless parents' dismay. Was reminded of all that recent PC crap
being forced on Fire Brigades about appropriate Maori protocol at death sites. Was terribly ashamed of whanau, because imo, the IC unit is itself (sadly) often a 'death site' - a place where souls depart - even the waiting rooms assume a sombre character as nervous families await progress updates & receive terrible news.

My whanau are Maoris, no doubt about it, yet were happy to laugh, throw rugby balls and let children run amok amongst other visitors grievously worried about critically injured patients. Where was this putative, culturally appropriate, Maori respect for death, I wondered? When the nurses complained the kids were pressing all the buttons in the lifts [which coulda been tragic in emergency], I hit the roof with family-sized tantrum. How can parents be so mindlessly irresponsible as to turn ICU into a playground for unattended kids? All this talk about Emergency Services needing to be more sensitive to Maori death customs rings pretty hollow to me, having witnessed own whanau's behaviour at a 'death scene' this week. The truth is that death is always tragic - in every culture. And Maoris, imo, should have no special rights nor exemptions when dying or killed in public.

The dumbest Maori of all
Yes, that would be me. Oops, I've done it again and fallen madly in (unrequited) love with Object of Insane Desire. I can withstand All of the disordering passions, except l'Amour. Public vilification? Not a problem! National humiliation? Barely a shrug of indifference! Murderous rage? Oh, how drearily ordinary! All endured with stoic detatchment, ruthlessly suppressed with steely self-will. But one tiny little prick of Cupid's arrow and I fall to pieces. I hate myself for being this weak. My aching Achilles' soul...

Two years ago, developed fixation on OID, a regular commuter on my train home. Several disastrous flirting attempts & one unequivocal rejection later, after mustering courage to declaim romantic interest, I decided -- as a wannabe right-winger -- not to blame anyone but self & resolved to take full responsibility for my crap life. So, amending travel schedule to avoid OID, & after much prayer, meditation & affirmations (plus many sessions of alcohol therapy) I finally regained sanity & grip on rampaging heart. And life was fine...

...until today. Hopping aboard late train & who should I encounter? That's right, OID in the flesh. Swear I heard strains of Rachmaninoff's 2nd piano concerto upon recognition. Face fevered with sweat, heart pounding and free falling feeling in stomach, to my terrified astonishment, realised I'm still smitten - & will have to go through all that turmoil again. I'm particularly bad at falling in love, even by my usual obsessive-compulsive standards. Feel a complete idiot, turning 40 next year & behaving like besotted teenager. All I can think about is OID, and it's tormenting. Love truly is a heartache; like toothache or earache, a constant throbbing pain, intruding into thoughts & dominating consciousness, spoiling everday life. I Hate being in Love. So, if ANYONE has a cure for love-sickness... please, please advise!

Enough blogging for the evening! Time to relax and start dreaming of you-know-who...


t selwyn said...

I agree with everything substantial thing you've said. I hope you post about "Dumb Pakehas" at some point.

I don't think I've ever seen Pakeha going on about "dumb Pakehas" ever, ever. Can't recall a single case. Do Pakeha all rate themselves too highly or do some Maori rate themselves too lowly? Am I right to ask that question? Is my observation flawed? Is there a special quality of Maori dumbness that sets them apart from Pakeha dumbness? Or would the headline "Dumb Pakehas" have to be on all the rest of the posts?

Jimmy Jangles said...

I just read the 3 conversations re Iraena on the herald site. Sounds like the dispatcher did an ok job - seems like this was a freakin beat up.

Mrs Danvers said...

Ever thought about writing a book Phil. I found your encounter with the OID absolutely riveting.

fm said...

Fortune favours the brave Phil. Methinks more than one unequivocal rejection will cure your condition and you won't die wondering.

fm said...

Or, you might get lucky! They rarely know what they want, you know.

Sharon said...

Oh Poor Phil - I have had an OID myself - British lad, contract worker. I would mark my calender on the days he came to work in the offices "IB" (for Insanity Begins) and "IE" (Insanity Ends -with a sigh of relief) on the days he left. You at least have the advantage of being single. Being married and having a hormonal reaction to a co-worker is NOT NOT NOT healthy, or anything to brag about. I was ASHAMED of myself!!!!!!!!!! But he'd walk in and the air in the office would go electric (for me at any rate).

I am NOT proud of this - but I tell you so you can feel better about something! You have the ability to DO something about that.

phil said...

Just thinking, wouldn't it be awful to discover that OID had a blog, and then read an entry that went something like:

"Ooh yuck! Today I saw that Creepy Maori Guy who hit on me, on the train this afternoon. I tried to hide from CMG, but it was too late, CMG spotted me as he came through the doors at Wellington Railway Station..."


Anonymous said...

A beautiful Maori woman rejected you once - didn't she Phil.

There's a name for jaded, ignorant, 'I-blog-because-I'm-an-attention-hog' people like you...


Anonymous said...

i googled dumb maori after seeing those kids who beat up people in milford and then the mother of one of them. sad sad sad. as for the last anonymous post LOLZA bigtime. you may not date maoris for the same reason i dont date PIs - im one of them and damn they can be pathetic.


Anonymous said...


i personally think u are the most vindictive close minded not to mention RACIST asshole i have ever heard goodness i havent even met you YET!! You disguist me with your opinion on maoris. keep it to yourself you are only trying to get attention buddy. and yes you have caught my attention, for all the wrong reasons, simply because yes i am maori and by no right should you be writing shit like that especially when u live in our country you piece of shit.
And as for the comments u made on iraena asher you have no bloody idea what your talking about you insensitive person, imagine if you lost a child or your wife! but then again with your lil pathetic love story probably will never get to smell the scent of a woman let alone have kids!! Keep bludy (and i quote) DREAMING mate!
Honestly I can just see u now with the white cone on your head. Who knows if youll ever read this, your probably dead already you evil evil person. I Dont blame the smart person who clocks u! So that is what I think of your "BLOG" and for all those dumb ppl out there prasing this ass you deserve to die also.
Sleep Tite

Meehawl said...

Wow, the very first comment shows what happens if you have the "la la la la, I'm not listening" switch turned up to full. One of the most distinctive aspects of literature and media that derives it's core mentality from western Europe is the joy of making fun of human foibles and "dumbness" no matter what you're social status is. The "Bilyl Ray Serious" brigade in ego driven Maori culture is a major buzzkill in the potential fun stakes of daily life. Read some books, watch the news and current affair programmes with your eyes and ears open. Actually don't bother mate, I will enjoy knowing an entire piece of the global jigsaw puzzle of life will elude you and cause you more mental confusion and discomfort. Enjoy your self deluded future.