Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Jonah & the Japs

Harrumphing harpoonists revive WWII chic sending armed aircraft to deal with hull-lacerating eco-pirates. Weary whalers consider enlisting major trade partner, Ozzy, to assist as South sea saboteurs aggravate global conflagration. Perhaps French expertise in pest control is warranted - should be a blast! Meanwhile us kiwis keep punching above our weight. MPs Goff & Carter faithfully cleave to Labour's foreign policy of only ever opposing Americans, and simper ineffectually urging restraint & responsibility.

But not all NZ politicians lack assertive, virile leadership.
Burning with fury of 1000 gorse fires, Jeanette Fitzsimons, undergoes extraordinary transformation, unleashing Xena-clone alter-ego to single-handedly stare down Japanese Imperialists. Conjuring spirit of Joan of Arc, Spain's Queen Isabella & Maggie Thatcher; Greens leader assumes terrifying persona of Avenging She-Samurai declaring war on Nipponese nefariousness. Enviro-amazon pre-empts UN Security Council demanding Awesome Power of nz navy negate nautical negligence. Gutsy lady & brilliant military strategist! Shame Helen didn't pick her as Defence Minister.

All of which has moved
greenie-jihadi & pro-whale skipper to describe NZ's Govt as "contemptible." Thank you. Someone had to say it! (I would've added "disgraceful" and "corrupt" - but that's coz my Christian heritage means I only see the best in people).


Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Did I hear you make the connection between whalers, kamikazi and Genetix? How quickly can she be taught to fly? She need not know how to land - just push the stick forward and dive baby, dive!

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Phil did you know Bonzai means 'little trees'? I think "Banzai" m ight be the one you want.

phil said...

Yes. Thank you, that's the one. Will amend.