Pulitzer prize-winning putz, Maureen Dowd, tires of Big Apple's masculinity deficit and heads downunder in search of lifetime obsession - a Real Australian Man. My advice: you won't find your alligator-wrestling heart throb in Sydney, nor amid Melbourne's metrosexual masses. Try the outback, or Darwin. Try walking there. Her best bet's the Braille Society, or Foundation for the Deaf, so potential paramours are spared the sight/sound of this vile varmint. The real question is: if Mo manages to sink talons into strapping Oz lad, why would Dinkum Bloke put up with a catty, self-absorbed 50-something child like Dowd? Apart from her money, of course. Other than that, one wonders how this vicious noxious beast ever made it past Ozzy's strict quarantine laws.