Sunday, April 09, 2006

new experiences

Weekend of firsts
Had a *!%@# of a week, so, come Friday, like Rapunzel, I decided to let down my hair & went into town to get trashed all weekend. Boozy antics aside, having absorbed the wisdom of 1000 self-help books, I resolved to blaze new trails, think outside the square, and go beyond my comfort zone.
So, for the very first time ever, I...

* tried a 'short black' (with milk). Couldn't believe it when waiter arrived with a tiny 'thimble' of coffee, completely dwarfed by the accompanying doll's house sized milk jug. Bad to worse when I actually tasted the horrible acrid muck inside, which completely deadened my tastebuds for the next hour or so. Yuck! I've tasted better cough medicine.

* tried party pills. Nothing happened. Nothing! Not the slightest buzz at all. What an over-rated, over-hyped waste of money. At least with a short black you get tremors & convulsions as the vile black goo corrodes your innards like battery acid. But those party pills! You get a better hit from a cup of weak tea, imo.

* vomited in a public toilet. In a garden bar, the boys start toking up. I haven't smoked dope in years (paranoid enough already) but was feeling funky & adventurous. A couple of puffs & I felt good... for about 2 minutes. Then the head spins, then the panicked rush to toilet, then the prayer to porcelain. Eek! Should stick with party pills next time.

* tried one of those freshly squeezed fruit/vege & wheatgrass juice health drinks with bee pollen & spirulina & other weird stuff that tastes like crap but with supposed health benefits. Not bad. Was initially sceptical since the counter staff looked pale & pasty & gaunt, hardly the picture of vitality. But had surprisingly zingy effects, hangover became much more manageable, & at least it didn't make me puke afterwards!

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