Friday, May 12, 2006

LOST in lust... er... love

luscious latina lasses
If I was an on to it tech guy, I'd make some 'tags' for my blog to put the posts into categories. I'd really only need two - "angry blithering nonsense" and "other blithering nonsense." But for this post I'd have to make a new category called, "I hate it when beautiful women torment me like this!"

I am, of course, talking about that sexy saucy siren, Ana Lucia, on LOST. Michelle Rodriguez is her proper name, and what can you say but "Yummm!!" I'd like to tell you how I really feel, but there's enough pornography already on the internet. But, dang! dang! dang! DANG! She is one seriously hot tamale! I can't stop thinking (yummy thoughts) about her. Went to bed last night thinking about her, woke up and she was still there. It's like she's stalking me. Constantly breaking & entering my mind, then smiling & kissing me and ruffling my hair and... Cold shower time!

Did you see her a few weeks ago in her cop uniform? Hoo baby! Cuff me! Frisk me! Beat me! I so wanted her to throw me on the bed ignoring my feeble, ineffectual protests, "Im a good little innocent boy, please don't defile me..." Too late! She's all over me.

Call me delusional, but I reckon she's doing it just to spite me. Maybe she read something I wrote, took offense and thought, "Right! I'm gonna get that bast*rd back!" So she became an actress, found out which shows I like, and appears on them coz she knows she drives me nuts and she's gonna ruin my life by marrying some other bloke and telling the press about it. Terrible how vindictive some women are like that. The lengths they'll go to, sheesh!

What really turns me Incredible Hulk-green, is knowing that - according to the TV guides - Jack and her end up shacking up together. Which'll probably mean they'll show that wussy, poncey, crybaby, howly-bag, sooky-bubba wimp-boy goody two shoes kissing my precious darling angel. Grrrrr! When that episode screens... Boy, look out! I'm going to America to hunt him down and beat the crap out of him. Then wag my finger and say, "Keep your goddamn filthy, slimey mitts off my girlfriend, punk!" with a real angry look on my face. Now, not everybody approves of brutal violence as a quick, easy, efficent, low-cost method of dispute resolution, but if someone kissed YOUR girlfriend on TV for millions of people to see, you'd be mad and track them down and beat them up, too, right? Good. Just needed the reassurance to know I was doing the right thing.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.magazinestaple.com/prodimg_zoom/10bz-8.jpg

JJ said...

Thanks for ruining it dude.

sagenz said...

the post with that picture would certainly keep more of us coming back for more

Anonymous said...

Umm no