# Washed-up, anti-Semitic drunkard, Mel Gibson, offends more people with criticism of Iraq war. Promoting his new movie, Mad Mel compares American soldiers to human sacrifices in ancient Mayan civilisation. Oh, go have another drink, you old fool! Remember the days when you were a popular, respected, charismatic screen-talent? No, neither do I.
# Russell Crowe wants starring role in prospective Steve Irwin film biography. His experiences wrestling with telephones & taming hotel concierges ought to come in handy. Someone should sic him on to Mel Gibson. Now, that's a wildlife encounter we'd all enjoy.
# Titanic temptress, Kate Winslett, weighs in on Tinseltown's vapid vogue for skeletons playing the role of actresses. Thank you, curvaceous Kate, from all of us fans of the voluptuous who recoil at wispy women with bodies of hipless, lanky, scrawny teenage boys.
[I knew there was a reason Maoris & Pacific Islanders never become Hollywood starlets.]