Friday, December 16, 2005

canine obedience school

Future Labour Cabinet Minister?
Whangarei school principal demonstrates novel method of enforcing discipline. Mum, not surprisingly, is performing the Mother Of All Hakas. I'd do exactly the same! What is it with teachers & stuffing mouths? It's all very "Freudian" if you ask me. I long for the good ol' days when we just got a whack on the a*se. Sure, the kid sounds like a future menace to society (biting his cohorts), but it's still pretty sick to put yucky, dirty things in people's mouths, imo... fellatio excluded.

Just wondering... about Trev Mallard accusing jockey, Lisa Cropp, of cheating by using methamphetamines. I mean, how can a rider taking speed make the horse go any faster? I don't get it.

White people are 'mutants'... (or possibly more 'evolved' than others) according to genetic research at Penn State Uni. Some time 20,000 - 50,000 years ago, one of the 3.1 billion letters in the human genome changed and "Hey Presto!!" - Pakehas were invented. Thank God, or we'd still be living in mud huts, wearing animal-skin loincloths and rubbing sticks to make fire. ('tip Ms L)

Giving moaning a bad name, are the whiners at Vic Uni whose research shows Maori are represented fairly in the media. Finding a cloud in every silver lining, they then complain our broadcasters are indifferent to "Maori values." Excuse me? What exactly is a Maori value and how do you portray one on the box? And why should (non-Maori) programmes have to comply with extraneous cultural mores, anyway?

Head of Maori School, Mr Adds, is worried M viewpoints might be belittled & claims more research is needed (academe-speak for "give us more money to indulge our own hobby-horses") to incorporate these yet-to-be-defined values into TVNZ's standards. He's further worried:
"the current legislation is so broad that Maori don't have grounds to complain about the portrayal of their values"
They can always switch the bleedin' thing off, that's what I do. Not coz of 'values' or lack thereof, but because of all the pure unadulterated CRAP they screen. Other than the reality shows, soaps & cartoons, there's nothing of quality on TV anymore.

6 comments:

June Gordon said...

Wow! You're one fast bigot. The mutation information is just out and you've already given it a racist interpretation.

pink panda said...

LOVE the blog!!!!

Jimmy Jangles said...

re Cropp - jockeys seem to be really susceptible to drugs and alcohol abuse - lil bodies I guess.

'Fast Bigot' interesting grouping of words.....

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Best read of the day!!!! Don't know how you do it. The weepy eyed whackos who infest Farrars place don't seem to have found you yet.

phil said...

REPLIES

JG - thanks! I'm glad to finally get recognition for my labours! You've no idea how much hard work it is to be this offensive, day in, day out. Although I DO make the effort!
So many minorities, so little time...

PP - Aww shucks (blushing) you sure know how to make a boy feel good! :-)
Stop it or I'll have to fall in love with you!
And since flattery will generally get you everywhere, I'm contravening my "no lefties" rule & I'm adding you to the blogroll. Don't try to stop me - resistance is futile...

JJ - My sister reckons the drugs are to help them keep slim so they don't weigh the horse down. Ahhhh... (lightbulb goes on in head) now i geddit!

AF - Yes, I've seen the masses of WEWs whose only life purpose is to vilify you on every thread of every blog. I'm SO jealous of you, AF! Why can't I have a cyber-following like you? Please send a few of your septic, unhinged, frothing-mouthed lefty-loons my way! Share them around, Adolph - it's Christmas! It's not fair that you alone should have all the fun ;-)

TMonkey said...

Maybe it's so they can thrash theyr whip faster...

I've converted to UKTV from about 10pm weeknights, Two Pints of Lager and a Pack of Crisps, followed by bottom. New Zealand just doesn't screen comedies like it used to. What happened to shows like Mr Bean, Billy T, The Topp Twins???

Bring back the raw humour's what I say...