Saturday, March 18, 2006


Happiness is... beating the Poms, or failing that, beating them at sport. Congrats, Gordon Tietjens - surely one of the most successful kiwi coaches in history - and his simply superb Sevens players for securing a hattrick of Commonwealth Gold medals! Yippe-kay-ay! Was so excited I didn't get to sleep til well after 1:00 am. Unlike most of you lazy bums :-) I have to work on Sat & Sun. Dragging my groggy sleep-deprived butt out of bed early was near mission impossible. Still, I'm over the moon at winning the only real event that matters at the Games. Ecstasy aside, every silver lining has a cloud, therefore some obligatory moans.

Reason # 698,146 to hate Australia: That friggin' whistle-happy ref who must've thought he was the soloist in a woodwind concerto, so keen was he to blow his tooter at every opportunity. Creep! And for puny pendantic rulings like incorrect binding in a (3 man) scrum, fer Pete's sake! When that silly tourism ad asks, "So where the bl**dy hell are you?" The correct answer is, "At home deliberately avoiding deekheads [note the Ozzy accent] with appalling umpiring decisions!"

Reason # 698,147 to hate Australia: The bad loser Ozzy broadcasters who didn't show our boys perform their victory haka. Just becoz their pathetic girly-men team came a shameful FOURTH, thus disgracing their entire nation, that's no reason to sulk and spitefully deny our heroes their moment of televised glory. Australians! I can barely say the word with an unclenched jaw. I would call them "wankers," but you need a penis to wank - something your average Ocker male sorely lacks in spades!

ps - When I said I hated Australians, I didn't mean you, fm. You, your family, friends & associates are lovely! It's those other Ozzy mongerels I wuz talkin' about.


fm said...

Maaate. You don't get off that easy. We are at war for the next seven days you know!

Re #698,146: If only it were true that you were all "at home". Bloody CER.

Re #698,147: What's wrong with getting your own TV commentary? Bludging off us again are you? Well then, that's your problem then.

(I'd comment on the wanker thing, but I'm troubled about your knowledge of what resides within an Ocker male's shorts.)

Must go. More medal ceremonies to watch... so many, so little time.

Ed said...

I vaguely remember you wanting to apply for Aussie citizenship a few months ago Phil...

phil said...

fm - War? Does this mean you won't come a waltzing Matilda with me?

ed - Yes, that's true. But then I sobered up.

fm said...

Actually, the commentary has got too much for me too. I've turned the sound down on the TV quite a lot in the last two days and played the stereo instead.

Reference the war, a truce might be in order. I noticed a couple of NZ cyclists helped an Aussie to slipstream into second place in a race last night. The poms were helping some bloke from the Isle of Man get first place. As a consequence, I am quite happy to wage joint warfare on the poms instead. I still haven't forgiven them for the Ashes. They enjoyed it just a little too much.