We are deficient in psychological rigour says our Sports Minister, explaining our spectacular sporting underachievements at the Commonwealth Games. A view shared by Sport & Recreation NZ chief, Nick Hill, embarrassed about earlier boasts we'd take home 46 medals. Instead, we collected a paltry 31. For a so-called sports-mad nation, we do absymally. But whaddaya expect considering huge swathes of our exercise deprived young folk are:
* addicted to TV/playstation
* driven everywhere by parents
* encouraged to participate rather than compete
* rewarded for mediocrity rather than excellence
* more keen to score dope/booze/sex than goals on the sports field
Let's face it, we're a pussy country. Unlike Oz, the US & elsewhere which crawl with dangerous wildlife & poisonous bugs, our benign natural environment solicits a false sense of comfort & ease. We grow up unchallenged, untested against life's brutal physical realities. Then there's our hyper-feminised education system that suppresses vigour & action, instead encouraging languidity, lethargy & emotional passivity. We celebrate art & neurotic introspection; we disdain force, directness & confrontation. Only in mollycoddled Kiwiland could we insanely celebrate nuclear-free pacifism or tolerate a defenceless, disarmed airforce. Is it any wonder we suck at sport or the masculine pursuits. Until whining, weeping & victimisation become legitimate athletic events, we'll never excel at international sporting competitions. And yes, we should change our flag! Let's substitute our Union Jack & Southern Cross for a Big Pink Girl's Blouse sodden with the snot & tears of 4 million self-pitying cry babies.