Tuesday, March 28, 2006

God defend NZ

Wimp nation
We are deficient in psychological rigour says our Sports Minister, explaining our spectacular sporting underachievements at the Commonwealth Games. A view shared by Sport & Recreation NZ chief, Nick Hill, embarrassed about earlier boasts we'd take home 46 medals. Instead, we collected a paltry 31. For a so-called sports-mad nation, we do absymally. But whaddaya expect considering huge swathes of our exercise deprived young folk are:

* addicted to TV/playstation
* driven everywhere by parents
* encouraged to participate rather than compete
* rewarded for mediocrity rather than excellence
* more keen to score dope/booze/sex than goals on the sports field

Let's face it, we're a pussy country. Unlike Oz, the US & elsewhere which crawl with dangerous wildlife & poisonous bugs, our benign natural environment solicits a false sense of comfort & ease. We grow up unchallenged, untested against life's brutal physical realities. Then there's our hyper-feminised education system that suppresses vigour & action, instead encouraging languidity, lethargy & emotional passivity. We celebrate art &
neurotic introspection; we disdain force, directness & confrontation. Only in mollycoddled Kiwiland could we insanely celebrate nuclear-free pacifism or tolerate a defenceless, disarmed airforce. Is it any wonder we suck at sport or the masculine pursuits. Until whining, weeping & victimisation become legitimate athletic events, we'll never excel at international sporting competitions. And yes, we should change our flag! Let's substitute our Union Jack & Southern Cross for a Big Pink Girl's Blouse sodden with the snot & tears of 4 million self-pitying cry babies.

4 comments:

Jimmy Jangles said...

So we suck at bowls. Whoop de do!

Did I mention I got the new Xbox?

Mrs Danvers said...

Nothing more to add there Phil. You've said it all

Anonymous said...

Look no further than the sad specimens giving "evidence" at the "peoples' equiry" over the Painted Apple Moth spraying ... blubbering pussies. A nation that tolerates/fawns over/clebrates that sort of behaviour will never excel in competition.

fm said...

"New Zealanders tend to be too nice"

Say what? The Kiwi teams I've played must have been pissed then. (A possibility)

Nah. Actually, the women's basketball match between NZ and Oz that I watched during the games look more like a battle between brawn and skill more than anything else. That can only be because the depth of the home competition doesn't produce truly world-class skills. Look at netball where you do really well. You've got an excellent home comp rivalled only by Oz. Same with rugby. Pissy little comps just won't deliver the goods. Size does matter.

And if teams are choking under pressure, it's probably because they don't get enough pressure in ordinary competition. And that might be a money thing. It isn't cheap to keep flying around the world if you always start out in sunny Wellington or Auckland. Whether it's a good thing or not, Australia spends ridiculous amounts of money on stadiums and sports scholarships at AIS. It's no wonder there's depth in the sports that are sponsored that way. Simple economics, I reckon.

Nope. I'm afraid (very afraid), on this one, I'm with Helen. On a per capita basis, third place isn't bad given the money you spend (and let's face it, your appalling weather). As a small country, you should try for first place on a per capita basis, but only if you're prepared to spend the money. Otherwise, I think NZ did very well.