Something to chew over

Good news for us big boys and the anti-anti-obesity campaigners. A Boston medical study suggests chubby chaps are 42% less susceptible to suicide than leaner lads. Makes sense to me: I'd contemplate ending it all, too, if ever condemned to a lifetime dietary regime of mung beans, lettuce and celery stalks. We fuller-figured fellas have too little time to be plagued with worry and existential angst; our problems are far more pressing. Like whether to order the chocolate mousse, the caramel creme, or both.

Now, are you gonna eat that fried chicken on your plate, or can I have it?

Pass the sour cream.