Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Behold, my photo!

Here's looking at me, kid!
It's not easy being beautiful. People always dismiss me as a mere pretty face incapable of higher pursuits, like fostering peace or healing the infirm. But that's simply untrue: hostilities cease as belligerents are spellbound by my good looks. Plus I'm so handsome I can cure lesbianism. So I am a force for good. Yet everywhere I go wreaks a trail of dropped jaws, craned necks & broken hearts. Dejected I retreat, fleeing women's wolf-whistles and the green-eyed hisses of men. These public torments have forced me into cyber-seclusion. But even here I enjoy no respite. Envious e-mailers and caustic commenters taunt: "Gee, you look EXACTLY like TV actor Jensen Ackles, the guy who plays Dean on Supernatural. Are you sure you're not just a big phoney who googled his pic & posted it on your blog?" Alas, such jealous barbs are the fate of one so sublimely ravishing. Like I said: it's not easy being beautiful.

1 comment:

Mrs Smith said...

I know the feeling too well; except my ravishing good looks have been known to cause a few happily-married women to cast aside their men folk, and break forth in a Sapphic Sortie.

I suppose between the two of us, everyone ends up where they started.