Windows on Waikato

Rememberances of life in Mooloo country where I first learned about puters.

Memories rekindled on hearing there are Maori versions of Windows Office and XP out now. That must be software that breaks in to online bank accounts, inserts spelling mistakes into Word documents, takes forever to load, messes up your files, uses other people's bandwidth, then quits unexpectedly :-)

Microsoft worked with the Maori Language Commission and Waikato University's School of Maori and Pacific Development to create the software

My Alma Mater! As a School of M&PD graduate, I'm flushed with pride. I bet Te Taka Keegan (onerously) translated the bulk of the 2500 tech terms into (jaw-breaking) Maori techno-jargon. Bless him! I'm really rapt.

Technophobia
Have heard repeated criticism of Bill Gates & his Evil Empire. Possibly the most derided man alive -- after my beloved Dubya, that is. But never understood the vilification of William. Being a tech-dummy helps, I guess, but also for 3 other reasons.

1. He embodies the self-made, rags-to-riches, American dream, man. I applaud his triumph. "Too much, you!" as they say on the Coast. Not trying to win any magnanimity awards, but I'm rarely, if ever, tempted by 'the sin of envy' (as for 'gluttony', 'sloth', and 'lust'... that's a whole other story). I think he's amazing. Blockbuster autobiography stuff.

2. I hate Apple. Never recovered from two traumas in formative geek years. Student blues. Panicking last-minute to get essays printed, rushed from Language Lab (Macs) where I worked to Main Campus (PCs - or whatever you call non-Macs) where my printing account is. Psychological disintegration & painful first lesson in digital racism [not all computers like each other] ensues.

Next time, having wizened (and acquired Mac-owning friend), I casually stroll to Main Campus, floppy in hand, only to find friend doesn't have Clarissworks on his laptop. Nervous breakdown #2

ps - years later, now the proud owner of PC and printer, I finally found the Mac computer & printing rooms on main campus (that had been there All That Time).

3. Unix? Linux? Sheesh, I can't even spell it. Have barely the vaguest half idea what this wikipedia-type, self-help, do-it-yourself Windows alternative is all about. Much less how to install or use it. So, 'til then, stuck with Bill's wares that at least have decency to already "be there" when you buy a new computer -- and save newbies untold hassle.

Ahhh, those were the days before I discovered...

'Print Preview'. How many trees had to die pre-WYSIWYG days for the sake of mere 'proper paragraph alignment'. My education cost thousands, most of it spent in computer printing rooms going, "Damn, that still doesn't look right!"

'Page Break' - and used to go Enter/Enter/Enter/Enter/Enter to begin a new page.

'Advanced Search' on google. How many trillions of irrelevant unnecessary links have I wasted my life reading? Sometimes horrifyingly. I typed 'All Blacks' once - tons of guff & surprising numbers of links to African American porn. My rugby-loving heart skipped a beat!

What Alt/Ctrl keys were about. Those shortcuts must be saving me bulk on future medical bills for overused mouse hand, arm & shoulder.

The more I learn about computers, the more paranoid I am
about everything... DPF warns that when you click on Kiwiblog, he can tell:

• The pages you browse on his site
• The referring page or link you came from
• The search engine query you used to find the blog
• Your IP adddress
• Your machine name
• Your web browser version
• Your operating system

While not begrudging DPF (to the contrary, he's a good fulla), assuming your Average website-Joe can do similar, it's quite frightening (in my scaredy-cat opinion) that other's "know" so much about you while surfing.

True Personal Cyber Horror Story, hazily remembered: Aimlessly surfing, encountered ad for Internet Security program. Ad said, "Click Here," so I clicked there, lo & behold, there's an exact 'photo' of my My Documents folder, complete with customised folder names & everything. As if website could "see" into my machine. Mortifying! Didn't log on to web for days after.

System Restore on Windows XP is also a bugger. Install software, weeks later uninstall it, weeks later restore puter to earlier time and find previously uninstalled program has mysteriously returned. That's weird & creepy, as if you can NEVER really purge your system of unwanted stuff.

Sacred Cows

Codswallop Alert: A 'study' by Akld Uni (most PC campus on planet) & WHO commies show kiwi women more prone to domestic violence than Japanese, Serbians & Brazilians. Because they never bother to analyse, research or rigorously critique matters, our alarmist kiwi media throws out disparate scare quotes in lieu of an actual 'story'. The obligatory Women's Refuge harpy, Anette Gillespie, chirps in:

"[earlier research shows] one in three women had experienced physical or sexual abuse"

Is this more nonsense like the outrageous "1 in 4 girls are raped by daddy" slander, the femi-nasties were propagating five years earlier? I'm cynical. She almost seems disappointed the figures weren't higher. She cites 'anecdotal evidence' (other refuges, most likely) and her broad, elastic definition of 'abuse' encompasses the very nebulously defined categories of 'psychological' and 'financial' abuse. Chief researcher, Janet Fanslow, exclaims,

"Urgent action was needed to tackle the issue of domestic violence in NZ"

and in doing so, brings her own academic motivations into question. Is she a legitimate scholar in the disinterested pursuit of knowledge, or a social activist using doubtful methodolgy & fudging figures to support a pet cause?

Good riddance!
The fancy-titled UN rapporteur will thankfully depart our shores. But not without dire warnings of imminent racial collapse. He frets over the perennial hard-luck statistics that show Maori lagging dolefully (pun intended) behind in income, education, health, crime and housing. Yet there's very little robust inquiry into 'how' or 'why' such conditions arise. The unspoken implication - somehow, it's all whitey's fault! No mention of poor life choices made, indifference to educational achievement and excellence, appalling budgetary habits, contempt for the law, or lax work attitudes. The key to success, as every Maori achiever will tell you, is a determined combination of hard work, discipline, application & self-sacrifice. The truth is, too many bottom-heap Maori have an aversion to self-imposed austerity. As sad as their stories are, their failure is entirely their own.

The last goodbye?

I'm gonna try fiddle with the HTML to add a 'Recent Posts' section. Not really sure what I'm doing. Have heard horror stories from people far tech-savvier than I, about trying to change their blogspot page. If, for some reason, this blog becomes defunct, it's because I deleted/added something I shouldn't have...

Back again... Couldn't do it! Mission failed. Bummer. At least I didn't completely stuff it up, things appear to be working OK. Truth is I'm bored, waiting for the Blacks to play Scotland. Despite whatever the time thingey says, it's 3 in the morning, rugby starts in half an hour.

Only coz everyone else's doing it/done it..
A blog policy/ disclosure/ statement thingey:

CENSORSHIP: Strictly no President Bush bashing (everyone else is fair game). He gets a hard enough time in the rest of the world's msm & blogosphere. Give the man a rest!

BLOGSPOT PROFILE: I wrote this really stupid one, and I couldn't get rid of it! No matter what I tried it wouldn't disappear, so I had to disable the whole profile thing. Not trying to be a furtive anonymite or anything. To prove it...

PERSONAL PROFILE: 38, male, capricorn, born Gisborne, English dad, Maori mum, single, live in Jville, lived in Wellington for over 30 years. No one important. Never been anyone in govt, politics, media, business, entertainment, public life. Have criminal record (refer mother's ethnic details).

EDITING: Absolutely! Life is a work in progress. And shocking proof-reading.

COMMENTS: Don't get enough of them to warrant a policy.

AUTHENTICITY: This blog is NOT a "respected academic journal" nor "scholarly source." If you quote me in your exam, don't come crying to me with your failed results.

PHOTO: Are you kidding? I'll support our tourism industry by not scaring people away from Wellington/NZ.

PLAGIARISM: Go for your life! I try not to deliberately copy people, but if you wanna 'steal' anything of mine, feel free! Hey, us Maoris have been stealing off you for years :-)

TEMPLATE: I chose this one coz it had the widest text field (to avoid excess scrolling, or torturing eyeballs with small print). I agree the orange colour is PUTRID.

If I was a clever techie fulla, I'd design homepage with NZ flag, picture of a Kiwi, NZ map, and maybe a few nice squiggly Maori patterns somewhere.

Rugby's started...

"He Autai'!"

He Autaia!

I love Dubya, he's my hero. Most Maori dialects translate "he autaia" as "a personable fellow" or "extraordinary person." Curiously, it can also mean "dreaded, fear-inspiring entity" or denote "ruinous calamity" and "unspeakable misfortune." But where I'm from, "he autaia" (contracted to he autai') simply means, "The Man!"

Freaky coincidences...
There's a King George (I'm sort of a monarchist), and a Saint George (my cousins are Catholics), and my father's middle name is George! The Maori transliteration of the name 'George' is "Hori," which is, of course, another word for 'Maori' (just like my mum!). It's as if there's this incredibly strong, fateful connection between me & the president. It's eerie... :-)

And speaking of autaia, Tana announces retirement from international rugby. Wow, that was pretty out of the blue! Good on him for being so upfront about the rigors of footy life. Thanks for you service, Mr Umaga! You're an awesome dude! He autai'!

And more autaia achievements with Brian Lara becoming the highest cricket runscorer of all time. His 11,175 tally just inching past Ozzy great, Alan Border's record. Well done! A superlative innings in anyone's book!

Wuzza matter, Winny?

Male-menopause? Why has Winston lost his bravado? Why the shameless courting of public approval? Is this part of a 'vulnerable' make-over to appeal to our natural kiwi empathy for victims and losers? And why oh why the wince-worthy self-pep talk - in full media glare, to boot!? That's pretty pathetic, even for a politican, even for Winny. Perhaps he realises that while he can get away with being a lying, scheming, phoney back home, it doesn't augur well on the international stage. The Orcland Herald has this exasperating quote:

"How about giving Winston Peters a second chance?"

How about: No Way you slimey, mendacious, self-serving, treacherous prat, who's been given far too many chances already. And you blew them! We don't trust you - you're scum! Although a highly evolved specimen of scum compared with the editorial writers at The NZH, DomPost & The Press. In his scrap with the msm, I'm cheering for the Baubled One (the lesser of two evils).

Don't shag the JAFAs!

Gay HIV epidemic up North with 1 new reported case every four days. 77% of new HIV cases are from Auckland/Northland. One advantage of having less than supermodel looks is it lessens chances of Close Encounters of the AIDS kind. My only advice: Keep your pants on north of the Bombays. So that's why it's called "Tamaki-makau-rau" (Tamaki of a thousand lovers).

oh, stop being a crybaby!
Chris Moller, NZRU topdog pouts up a storm over Ozzy's vote for Japan re 2011 Rugby World Cup.

"the wounds of that disappointment will not heal easily"

Get over yourself, ya big sook! It's Thanksgiving Day. Be grateful that:

• We're the 2011 hosts
• We've won back the Tri-Nations
• We retained the Bledisloe
• We're about to complete a grand slam tour of GB&I
  

Who gizza toss about the Austrayans? Their rugby sucks at the moment. What is it so far? 7 losses on the trot? Yikes, demote them to rugby minnow-hood status! Not worth cryin' over, Mr Moller.

You know you're complacent when... your biggest worry is your karaoke choice before a rugby test. Personally, I like ka mate, ka mate best. The whole violent-throat-slashing-movement hoohah is a silly distraction; haka is meant to be violent & to intimidate. Perhaps they're confusing it with Swan Lake.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY, AMERICA!

Have a great National Holiday, y'all!

Thank you America for:
Help in World Wars; MTV, Elvis, Britney & Madonna & developing the Performing Arts to undreamt of levels of creativity, innovation, and inspiration; Being a friend to Israel; Star Wars & Sci-fi; The Mormon Church (lifetime gratitude for help with genealogies); Motown, Disco & RnB; amazing life-saving & life-enhancing technology, especially the Internet (thanks Mr former vice president); KFC, McD's & Pizza Hutt; Ford Cars; Microsoft Windows - works for (near-computer illiterate) me!; Rampant Capitalism; Rush Limbaugh; MAD magazines; Seinfeld & The Nanny, thanks for all the laughs; Shiploads of AID & cash to every disaster & hell-hole on the globe - & nobody seems to thank you for it - so Thank You sincerely for your kindess.

And thanks, US Music Industry, for not suing all those Maori haka groups who've been - ahem - "appropriating" your melodies since the 1930s. Quite seriously, kapa haka would never have evolved to its present sophistication without those catchy commercial tunes. All current (& future) KH exponents are indebted to you through musical lineage.

Helen above the law

David Benson-Pope, Minister for Tennis, will not be charged for assaulting schoolkids despite there being a prima facie case. Supt. Fraser says:

"The decision-making in this case rests with me and I have reached my decision after weighing up all the information and advice available to me"

Loada crap. The decision came from Helen's lapdog, Commissioner Robinson (thankfully due to retire) via Helen's crony & Asst Commissioner, Lynn Provost (a civilian appointed with NO prior policing experiencing and DEEPLY unpopular within the ranks). It's a worry that Helen & her minions have become legally 'untouchable' in this way. More worrying, is it'll continue if Provost becomes Chief Cop next year - a disaster on many levels.
Just like Clark, she's a 'diversity'-spouting, multiculti-loving 'academic' heavily keen on quotas, "social-justice", and minority rights issues. She's a geek-girl, too (in the post-INCIS debacle era).
Helen's already turned our soldiers into "peace-keepers" - she wants to turn our cops into social workers. The feminizing of our country continues. The end result is, of course, a less effective police force, and whaddaya know... more crime.

But back to Dave B.P. To be honest, 22 years is a long time to wait to complain We need some type of Statute of Limitations, IMO. To be really honest, I was hoping (in a spiteful, nasty way) that B.P. would be gone over this. Of all Labour's nasties, he creeps me out the most*, even more than Margaret Wilson! BP was returned to his electorate by a huge majority, I wonder if his present fate would have differed had his election night result been closer?

*Update: Sorry, Tim Barnett is creepier than DB-P. Actually, it's a tough one - there's a LOT of stiff competition in the LP!

More bad news for cops with Labour admitting the 1000 extra police promised, as per NZF's coalition deal, won't all make it to the frontline. Instead, says Annette King, bolstered numbers will comprise 'police staff' - which could mean practically anything. Expect a surge in consultants, advisers, researchers & managers to join the police payroll, knowing Labour & its fetish for bureaucracy. Maybe Lynn Provost is already eyeing up her pick of "sensitivity trainers" and "diversity specialists" to help the cops become more 'inclusive' and 'community-minded'. God help us!

Good news for Maori TV?

Maori TV makes a $3mil surplus in its first year. Ka pai! Chief exec, Jim Mather, boasts:

"viewers increased from a monthly cumulative average of 327,800 in July 2004 to a peak of 426,300 in April this year"

But Gerry Brownlee has doubts, as the annual report (most unusually) doesn't disclose full ratings statistics.

"We have never been allowed to see the official comparative ratings figures, so we don't know whether the taxpayer is getting value for money out of its significant spend on Maori TV"

He's got a point there! Why the secrecy? Are they hiding a ratings catastrophe? A cynic might think so.
And where's the accountability to the public footing the bill? It's not a good look for MTS, I'm afraid. It makes Maoris look dodgy and sneaky - as if we needed any help!

I'm saddened coz I like Bro TV. I adore Julian Wilcox and always try to catch his news bulletins. I love his deep resonant voice, his gorgeous elongated vowels & sensuous eliding diphthongs, like the glides of a slide guitar. Most of all, he's astonishingly handsome! Our very own on-screen Maori super-babe.

It can be a discombobulating experience watching MTV. One doco, Anna from Benin, featured an African girl, who spoke French throughout, with Maori subtitles. Very head-spinny. I also crack up watching Te Karere sometimes. They have English subtitles now, but when showing a person actually speaking English, they overdub it with a Maori translation, but continue with the English subtitles - LOL, I'm not sure what that's all about.

"And then along came John"

Mr Tamihere elected to the newly expanded board (15 members) of the Waipareira Trust. As per the general rule of Maori politics, it was a rowdy, messy affair with many surprising (interim?) resolutions that promise much nasty future infighting. How's this?

Waipareira whanau members forced the board to back down on a constitutional amendment passed last month aimed at preventing Mr Tamihere's re-election.

Yup, that sounds like marae politics to me. LOL - Disregard all the decisions of previous hui, ignore the constitution (and those 'annoying' legal obligations), then vote spur-of-the-moment on the prevailing whims of whomever happens to be present.

John claims he's concerned that $9mil of the trust's shares and assets is unaccounted for. He has his sights set on chief exec, Reg Ratahi, who reckons:

"I've heard from associates [that] he's coming back for utu, and that's not the right reason to go back on any board"

ROTFL! You betcha he's out for some payback! C'mon, Mr Ratahi, you know as well as I, the significance of retribution as a motivating force in 'Maori affairs.' Why the feigned indignation?

OTOH, I'm not a huge John fan for various reasons and past experiences.
OTOH, It'd be churlish to deny his many achievements. Channeled properly, his considerable talents (wasted otherwise) would be an enormous asset for any Maori org.
That he clearly enjoys much support from the Waipareira whanau speaks for itself. That's the Maori political equivalent of saying, "the people have spoken."
So be it!

Hard to swallow...
A mini-union frenzy is brewing as Matt McCarten urges Starbucks workers to down their aprons in support of a campaign to increase minimum wage. Many staff appear disgruntled with their scarce pay - which makes you wonder why they signed their employment contract in the first place...

Couldn't care less, either way. After Starbucks decided against sending any of their coffee to the US troops in Iraq, I haven't patronised them since, and have no intention to do so ever again.
Besides, Real Maoris drink Instant! ;-)

NEWSFLASH!!

An historical event, unprecedented in kiwi journalism just occured!

New Zealand's mainstream media actually published a non-accusatory, non-defamatory, non-derogatory article about President George W Bush! I can barely believe it myself!

"Bush sends turkeys to Disneyland"

Enjoy it while it lasts! Like Halley's comet, it's a once in a lifetime moment!

Who writes these friggin' headlines?

Showing the lax regard for truth -- for which the Herald is renown -- headline screams: "Muslim-hater gets jail for racist abuse." Yet the article itself later states he was actually sentenced for: threatening to kill a cop, possession of a knuckleduster & dope pipe, and assault.
The judge himself, sounds like your typical (guilty) white, liberal dimwit in (erroneously) condemning this "extreme racial prejudice." Clue time, your honour: 'muslim' is not a 'race' or an 'ethnicity' - it's a RELIGION adhered to by many mixed races and ethnicities. It's worrying to see judges making such clumsy statements based on sloppy, uncritical thinking, with so little discernment of detail or attention to basic common facts.

Maori-Wannabe Alert: Baffling to hear Chris Tremaine give much of his maiden speech in Maori! I would laugh if it wasn't so nose-wrinklingly cringe-worthy. Oh, no:

"the spirit, the wairua, of New Zealand is in me...
"To me this is the very essence of being tangata whenua..."

Are you sure you're in the right party, buddy? Plenty of room in the Greens for mushy idealists. Labour, too, a haven for paternalistic do-gooders. Not to mention Tariana's crowd who'll heartily endorse your overly romanticised (yet highly fictitious) rose-tinted view of Te Natives.

Mr Tremaine, speak English! It's OK, you're a white guy, it's what they do in NZ. Surely someone who feels so 'essentially' Kiwi should have figured this out by now.
Mr Tremaine, the primary function of a language is to 'communicate' - all the frilly, poetry stuff mere icing on the cake. If you speak Te Reo you are EXCLUDING the majority of, not just NZers, but more importantly your very own colleagues! By doing so you inadvertently create divisions and foment suspicion, ill-will, and more racial discord.

I'm beginning to think We're Doomed. When the Nats start singing from the 'progressive' hymn sheet, all hope for us 'mainstream' folk is lost.

Here's a Maori language lesson for ya!
Tutae = Excrement
Puru = Bull

Quiz: Translate the following phrase into English: "tutae puru"

An excellent example of tutae puru is the NZH's account of the "haunting" tears & laments to greet the return of Maori remains to Te Papa. The ceremony apparently powerful enough to elevate anonymous preserved body parts to the status of 'revered' ancestors. Aren't posthumous honours usually bestowed only on persons of known identity? The article extensively quotes Te Tahu White, TP spokesman & biculturalism regurgitator, whose treacly effusions recycle every cliche in the token-Maori handbook. His inaccuracies & distortions too numerous to cite individually, but one particular inconsistency stands out:

"Ask yourself this: How would you feel if it was your grandmother or grandfather three times removed? Of their head being on display or their body parts being probed, without being given the decency of a burial, or offering family the opportunity to grieve"

Fair point, perhaps. But ask yourself this, Mr White: How would you feel if your grandchildren were ABORTED with the tacit consent of the Health and Education Ministries, and that these "body parts" were then disposed of, WITHOUT the decency of a burial, family grieving opportunity - or even your consent or knowledge! If you were truly concerned about "whakapapa connections," then the state-sanctioned murder of every child conceived by a Maori schoolgirl (and all subsequent generations doomed thereafter) should sicken you to the fibre of your being.

But no! Like most inchoate leftist 'thinkers,' Mr White is extremely selective in his outrage.

I hate to sound wishy-washy, but...

...I'm actually starting to warm to the cuisenaire sculpture I bagged earlier
* It's got a real 'Mondrian' look about it.
* It reminds me of the twin towers.
* The use of Cuisenaire (maths) & Te Atarangi (language) can be likened to two 'pillars' or 'success stories' in NZ's history of teaching methods.
* The name "Atarangi II" can be pronounced Atarangi "Tu" (upright, heavenwards) - the blocks seem to 'soar' upwards. Like Tane's ascension to the heavens to fetch the kete of knowledge. Like the (cuisenaire) student gaining enlightenment.
* "Tu" can also mean noble & proud. They are two very 'dignified' looking rods, IMHO. Erect, soldier-like, disciplined & meticulously presented.

There are interesting contrasts between colours and form:
* The very bold, lurid hues depict wild, erupting passions, yet the harshly, minimal physical design implies constriction and restraint.
* The 'diagonal' colour scheme suggests instability, as if the sculpture were about to tumble. At the same time, the rods have precise, sharp horizontal and synchronised 'poses' - stoic orderliness and unyielding containment.
* The seemingly 'random' colours evince the carefree innocence of toddlers, as if toys left scattered in an empty room.Yet the construction of such a 'perfect stack' is a major engineering achievement for any youngster. The concentration, motor and sensory skills required is no mere child's play.

NZPA are Big Girly Wimps

Well done, lads!
Fifty of our SAS boys will return after 6 month stint in Afghanistan. Atlhough Goff's media statement is pure puffery, it's still enough to swell your heart with pride:

"The SAS have played an important role in.. counter[ing] terrorism & restor[ing] stability to Afghanistan.. Their presence.. has been critical.. to constrain the influence of Al Qaeda & Taliban elements.. [and] helped ensure... the first-ever [Afghani] elections.. in September."

The militantly pacifist NZPA, as usual, gives undue prominence to the Greens. On cue, Keith Locke wets his pants:

"the operation appeared to be failing, with casualties & the level of insurgent activity growing despite a four-year campaign"

What an utter pantload! I revile the Greens not so much for their pacifism & incurable pessimism with blind refusal to see any benefits of military intervention, but for the lying and sophistry needed to justify their positions.

Eye-sore!
Good to see Auckland challenging Wellington for the title of NZ's Crap-art Capital. Two 12-metre high 'cusiniaire rods' with a token Maori name. Please! How is that meant to be aesthetically appealing? Or visually interesting? Or mentally stimulating? Or sensually arousing? It isn't! It's crap! And a lot of people just got ripped off funding this pitiful hoax by a no-talent con-artist.

I hope the local community has the last say - and it gets plastered with graffiti! At least bombing requires real artistic skill and craftmanship.
Update & "oops" moment: I've changed my mind. I like them now. See entry above.


because we've got nothing better to worry about...
Dried-up has-been & ARC member, Sandra Coney, up-in-arms over cartoon pukeko's glowing appraisal of the "nice birds" in town.

"Advertising shouldn't make jokes at the expense of women"

Ain't feminists just a barrel of laughs! The women's agency that produced the ad should run a 'get humour' campaign for their thin-skinned sisters still trapped in a grim 1970's man-hating time-warp. Is this really a priority for the ARC? Do Auckland's voters not have more pressing concerns?

In trying to inflame this non-story, the NZPA reveal their true selves as a herd of callow, vapid bubble-heads. Is a cartoon bird really newsworthy? Who gives a flying fig? Fluff-journalism at its most asinine!