battles

Pugnacious Pete
Pita Sharples determined to wean Maori off welfare in war against dependency. Fighting words and a laudable aim but somewhat hypocritical, imo, considering his party voted FOR Labour's Working for Families package which further entrenches welfare, even for middle income earning families. He's correct about Labour failing to ameliorate the plight of so many dependent on the state, yet perversely, his fellow Maori Party MP, Hone Harawira urged his constituents to give party vote to Helen's mob during election campaign for fear of a Nat led govt. Adding to confusion is one of TMP's major election planks is the repeal of the Foreshore & Seabed Act, which will require the support of erstwhile foe, National. Other aims include enhanced status of the Treaty & Maori seats - anathema to Don's crowd - which needs Labour's assent. Bewildered? Don't worry; we all are!

Low-life Litigants
Who said crime doesn't pay? Despite laws introduced to curtail fiscal compensation for prisoners whose 'rights' have been 'violated', claims exceeding $5 million are sought through the courts. What a crazy system rewarding wrong-doers with scant regard for 'rights' of their victims. Why should inmates enjoy privileges afforded law-abiding citizens? Of course the scheme will be abused by crafty crims conspiring to profit through dishonest means - they are crooks after all. Expect a raft of accusations about ill-treatment from wardens who'll suffer the indignities of investigation with doubts cast over their professionalism. How demoralising for prison workers; enough to deter many away from a career in corrections. Such an unappealing work environment can only lead to a shortage of suitable applicants for a tough, thankless, demanding job. Whoops, too late!

Exercise in futility?
Educrats urge daily hour-long workout to combat weighty problem of pudgy primary schoolkids. A heavy burden since school syllabus is already bulging at seams. Chief protagonist, sports & recreation education manager (with obvious agenda), cites questionable statistic that 96% of pupils unable to perform simple acts such as running, jumping & catching. Head of Principals Federation unimpressed, laying blame squarely (and rightly, imo) at feet of parents. One well-meaning wag suggests extreme sports as an option, hoping to entice young adventurous spirits - and may very well succeed until the first accident and lawsuit eventuates. But why the focus on 'enjoyable' pursuits? Is the purpose of school to have fun? What about discipline to build character or as preparation for the unpleasant realities of adulthood? Over-coddled kids become immature adults. It's time, as a nation, to grow up.

difficult decisions

benighted barristers
Legal aid lawyers in a lather over discrepancies in solicitors' salaries. Criminal lawyers (no pun intended) complain of disparities compared to their fellow thieving liars in other domains. Law Society chappy suggests:

"Perhaps one of the reasons miscarriages of justice are occurring is that competent lawyers are turning away legal aid cases because they can't afford to do the work"

Umm, no. Maybe miscarriages are, in fact, due entirely to incompetence. If unable to get by on $70 p/h, you have serious management issues, imo. To have chosen to work in lesser paying field implies lack of foresight, planning, intelligence or research. All qualities demanded in lawyers on top of their game. Besides, during early stages of criminal work, they're often unnecessary. Throughout my ill-starred court career, at both preliminary & status hearings, I managed to utter the words "not guilty" all by myself - & I 'm not even a lawyer! Think how much money I've saved!

picking potential parents
Semenal sob-stories as near half of sperm donors say samples come with conditions. Clinicians concerned about picky patriarchs refusing requests from singles & Sapphites. Mature mums-to-be often similarly shunned. At a loss to explain why solo women unable to be impregnated via traditional means. Hardly any excuses with alcohol so freely available. Maybe too fussy, too dopey, perhaps too ugly & repugnant. In which case, in interests of our gene pool, it's best they avoid procreating altogether.

dubious justice
Police ununimpressed about man with machete who attacked another assailant. Chasing bat-swinging intruder from terrified teen, he shattered invader's car window. Heroic & valiant, with instinct for survival, he explains intervention:

I could see him swinging his weapon away & I could hear her screaming. He was going ballistic. I thought 'I'm not going over there unarmed, I'm not going to be a victim'.

A torrent of talkback as delinquent diverted but saviour savaged by system. The prosecutor protests his whacking of window; the wrangle resulting in weapons charge. Police also unpleased with man's moan to the media, and gripe about grizzling to press. Poor man.

Oh, for goodness sake!

Latest Labour Outrage
Helen Clark's friend Peter Jackson awarded $25mil in tax breaks for his stupid 3-hour self-indulgent, overwrought rendition of what was dumb movie to begin with. Another reason to detest him. Just coz his movies generated tons of jobs & cash in Welly & the Y-rapper, doesn't redeem his unforgiveable Labour cheerleading. Now we know why he's all kissy-face with Hel's. Horrible pig (Pete, not Helen - although she's one too). It's infuriating rich guys should benefit from broke taxpaying me. I despise him with jaw-clenched virulence!

unintended consequences
Sobbing despair about upsurge in child prostitution in ChCh & Akld. We have 60 'yes' voting MPs + 1 abstainer to thank for liberalising our Sex Worker laws. Indirectly at least. Are our Brave New World's designers completely innocent of (male) psychology? Any guy with a hard-on will attest to testosterone's tyranny: lust fuelled derangment, that mercifully subsides with age (well, I'm thankful anyhow - LOL). I'm conflicted about the law change. My libertarian streak resents any Govt intrusion into what is essentially a business transaction. But the pragmatist says, "I told ya so!" Of course behaviour, previously forbidden, will proliferate following it's liberalisation and subsequent normalisation.

Getting older I'm becoming a 'feminist', more cognisant of (many) men's smutty minds & filthy tricks. I sympathise with every father worried about teen daughters. Youthful beauty is powerfully alluring. I feel our laws, as currently enacted, endanger youngsters. The uncomfortable truth is teen girls are sexually desirable and will be sought by dirty old men. A civilised society should be constantly vigilant against the ever-present perverts to protect its young women. I now appreciate why religions have strict moral codes surrounding sex; it's not about hang ups, it's about protection. Sex is a chaotic primaevel force of nature we barely understand nor fully control. No amount of libertarian abstraction, left-wing pontification or social engineering will alter our stubbornly obdurate biology.

anyone out there....?
10 years hard yacka comes to fruition for star-gazing Canterbury couple who've helped locate most earth-like planet (of 170-odd discovered) to date, near Milky Way's centre. A tad chilly at -220 degrees, its remarkable geology features rock & ice surface, frozen oceans & an atmosphere.

"If such planets are.. common.. as this result implies, then the chances of there being habitable planets in our galaxy is a very real and exciting possibility.
"It's a hostile environment, but it's probable that microbes or bacteria can exist in such an environment.. Whether they do is pure speculation."

Great news for Canty Uni & NZ astronomy. Well done, guys! Exciting news for astro-biologists & all who conjecture about existence of extra-terrestial life. Do you believe? [cue X-files music]

Go, the Canucks!

Oh, Canada...
I take back everything bad I ever said about being boring, frost-bitten, irrelevant, maple syrup slurping pacifist blouses* with bland, watered-down American accents, & congratulate you tossing out those dodgy leak-prone Liberals & electing a pro-American, Dubya-loving PM. Well done, Mr Harper! Good luck holding your minority govt together! Guess it's just us & the Poms left with Commie-filth in charge.

"Mr. Harper pointedly promised not to send Canadian troops to Iraq :-(
...But he did promise $5 billion in new military spending"

I guess with the UK helping in Iraq, that makes us indisputably the Pansiest Fruitcake in the Anglosphere. Terrible.

* Yeah, I know that's rich coming from a kiwi - but at least we don't eat girly stuff like maple syrup or have cops riding horseback in gay red uniforms with ridiculous pointy hats.

But seriously...
MUST READ article: The Election for Dummies. Everything you wanted to know about Canadian Politics but were too busy making fun of them to ask (sorry). Treat yourself.
'tip- mz L

the awful truth

frank admission
How do you tell first-date they have spinach between teeth? Or hubby he's a crap root? Never easy, is it? Dispensing with all delicacies, Landcare Research fronts up about country's worst kept grubby secret: Auckland achieves acclaim as world's weediest city. Not sure if they mean their men-folk or what. As if we needed another reason to stay away from there. Is anyone truly surprised? I almost feel embarrased for them being global laughing-stock, still, it's good the truth's finally out & we don't need to tip-toe 'round it anymore.

"There are nearly 20,000 exotic.. species in Auckland & more than 200 of them are noxious weeds"

I've been harping on about that for years, but everyone just keeps calling me a racist xenophobe. Sheesh.

Betcha I hate it...
"You'll love it or hate it" warns sappy director, Vince Ward, about latest film slop The River Queen, premiering in Wanganui. It's traditional to review movie after actually seeing it, but kiwi crap's so predictable, why bother forking out admission fee? In syrupy mould of equally atrocious, Whale Rider, a plucky heroine embarks on perilous quest, defying odds, cultural impediments & other insurmountable obstacles to emerge victorious, just, and saintly. Another girly cartoon dressed in Maori drag against wop background. Expect lingering close ups of furrowed brows, agonised expressions & tear-choked sighs as our lead gawps emotively through every mascara-smudging scene. If I wanted to watch 90 minutes of blubbing angst, I'd get some teenaged girls drunk. If I need conflict & bloodshed for entertainment, I'll visit my family instead.

Eagles Up!

Aww Shucks! ;-)

Take the "How F**king American Are You?" quiz.
And God Bless America! :-)

'tip- A.Falloon

Wellington Anniversary

Poneke the Beautiful: Absolutely Wonderfully Welly
Happy Birthday Us! Fabulous day for us vacationeers. Languorous, lazy, luxuriant. Appropriately, have been indolent & slothful. Been online for over 8 hours & haven't blogged single sentence. Thought I should make the effort lest day be completely wasted. Today's meagre offerings:

still raising hell
The superb Muriel Newman causing a ruckus (hehe) over DNA testing of early human remains. I do love a good stir debate. The divine Ms M relitigates touchey who-got-here-first arguments, with Chinese (possibly others) pipping Maoris for the Gold medal. Fervently hope various Govt spokes-fellas, Maori groups, academics, and PC historians go ape in response. Only coz I'm a trouble maker who loves mischief & a good scrap. Pass the popcorn. I like Muriel coz she's tough and smart. And not afraid to ask the hard questions.

ps - Obtaining Maori DNA shouldn't be that hard. I'll SELL you my DNA if you're that desperate: $100 per mouthswab. That's my price. Surely Ms Newman approves of 'market economics' ;-)

pps - If you want the geneaology that comes with the mouthswabs - oh, we're way into 5 figures now :-) If you're that keen, you'll pay. God bless the free market!

prickly subject
If the Chinese did get here first, would the Nats be happy to fund their traditional medicine? Brain scans show accupunture may work in some folk by deactivating parts of the limbic system, responsible for perception of pain. Jury's still out on whether changes to brain result from acupunture itself, or one's expectations and faith in the treatment. The old Placebo number. Still, the changes were measurable & recordable - suggesting it's not "all in your head."

inferiority complex
SetCond1 has ravishingly gorgeous photo & link about aircraft carrier, USS Reagan, visiting Brisbane. Am seriously jealous of the Stralianz. Honours & highlights for local lad, Capt Steve Palecanos, who gets to pilot the beautiful behemoth!

"The $A5 billion ship is.. 77m high, 344m long & 78m at its widest point.. 97,000-tonne... The flight deck covers 1.82ha &.. is powered by two nuclear reactors – which allow it to operate for more than 20 years without refuelling"

A shame We may never experience the same thrill in pussy little nuke-free NZ. Don't it suck being a wimp? I feel a coward's unease whenever contemplating Oz & US military stuff. Thoughts inevitably lead to comparisons with our own fighting forces. Humiliating, isn't it? Like a young lad in a communal shower full of men. Doesn't it make you feel small & inadequate?

Update: Wide shot of USS Reagan (blatantly stolen from fm) showing off: "80 fixed-wing aircraft including F/A-18 Hornets, S-3B Vikings, EA-6B Prowlers, E-2C Hawkeyes, C-2A Greyhounds, SH-60 Sea Hawks and helicopters"

Saint Briar

Pervert Alert!
Hate paedophilia? Despise every loathsome individual who produces, trafficks, consumes, or encourages kiddy porn? Couldn't agree more, & in a strange way feel same about the Herald on Sunday for attempted airbrushing of the Dravitski Child Rapist. Were it a man, he'd be hounded relentlessly, yet a curious double-standard emerges when women commit 'male' crimes. An archaic feminist residue permeates our newsrooms, declaring that women are always victims of men. And should females fall foul of the law, it's a result of prior victimisation; the perpetrators thus deserving of our pity.

In an article oddly avoiding the words "rape", "sexual assault" or "paedophile," no effort's spared to elicit our sympathy. Photograph shows doleful Briar, gazing wistfully. Hair chastely tied, a funeral veil fringe, subdued lips & kohl rimmed eyes complete pensive pose of Sorrowful Mother, burdened with unspeakable sadness.

Evoking pathos, the story glosses over her repeat offending, pending assault charges, a houseful of minors drinking booze & sleeping-over unauthorised, to present harrowing epic of lost soul confronting impossible odds. HoS hints it's all a Big Misunderstanding since Briar believed boy was 17. At first, she "wasn't attracted to him," somehow her kindly succour of poor homeless youth went sadly amiss. Her 'regret', we're informed, is 'palpable'. Even boy's mother (with most 'right' to be upset, you'd think), while barely recovering from physical altercation, mysteriously relents to comfort a crying Briar with forgiveness. The sobbing continues with gasps at her turbulent childhood: estranged parents, a distant mum, the spectre of social welfare overhanging endless struggle with mental illness & diets of antipsychotics.

Bravely, our victim-hero exhibits unusual valour, refusing to "use her background as an excuse" and acknowledges wrong doing. Yet despite humbling penance & noble public contrition, she's nonetheless pursued by witch-hunting vigilantes, hurling insults & abusive calls & texts. Jobless, hapless, enduring nightmares & suicide attempts, amid home town hostility, our heroine soldiers grittily on...

Or so the HoS would have you believe...
What's really disgusting imo is the MSM's dishonest portrayal of Briar as courageous victim rather than Sex Predator. In effect, they're cheering for the rapists. Attempting to soften and sanitize the paedophiliac elements in this case, I maintain that the HoS are enablers and appeasers of Child Rapists.

Careful which Sunday paper you buy! Would you willingly give money to peddlers of kiddy-porn? Choose wisely when deciding at the News stand.

Justice

Later, Schmuck!
Not a flicker of sympathy for Rotorua jogger killed in drive-by shooting. Turns out target was gangster scum with long history of mindless criminal violence. Let his victims rejoice! I offer no condolences, as a civilised gesture, to those choosing an uncivil lifestyle. If you refuse to comply with society's rules, you don't deserve its protections or blessings. "Live by the sword, die by the sword." It's somehow fitting & proper that this dangerous animal should suffer a violent death at hands of fellow thugs. "Poetic justice" indeed. One less savage to worry about, one more social problem 'cured'.

legal can of worms
Sir Thomas Thorp, worried about Miscarriages of Justice, urges Independent Authority be established to address wrongful convictions & errors in court system. Commendable in light of high profile travesties such as the Peter Ellis case. Support also from Criminal Bar Association who acknowledge:

"There is nothing worse than languishing on an improper conviction"

How true for those wrongfully imprisoned, yet the principle remains right across the offending scale. Regardless of charge's severity, wrongful convictions suck! As do wrongful acquittals!

As a method for discerning 'truth', the entire legal process is shambolic, imho. 'Miscarriages of justice' start the minute a cop starts scribbling in notebook. Selectively compiled into summary of facts, the 'evidence' is tainted even before being disclosed. 'Negotiations' begin between lawyer & prosecution, 'facts' are amended, omitted and debated, as if haggling over prices at a Turkish bazaar. Surviving maze of incompetent lawyers, lying cops, malicious prosecutors & untrustworthy witnesses, the defendant comes before judge (complete with own prejudices & quirks) who must then rule soley on 'evidence' presented by two court adversaries trying to out bullsh*t each other. By that time, 'the facts' & 'the truth' have become mutilated beyond recognition. The result? As capricious as fate herself. So I'm unsurprised by Sir Thorp's report. A shoddy system, riddled with flaws can't help but deliver wonky results.

tweet tweet

Dr. Doolittle's Diaries
Fascinating NZ research shows our feathered friends have different 'accents' according to their 'tribes' and locations. Way to go, Massey, with their study on Saddlebacks! This behaviour's also been observed in pidgeons from different areas of London & Sydney. It means, imho, that birds are more human-like than first thought. The brain structures & pathways responsible for 'speech' are reasonably well established in both species. But this new evidence of bird mimicry, mixing-calls, incorporating & adapation of new sounds, suggests a highly sophisticated degree of mental creativity, ie, cognitive activity above the level of pure instinct. It denotes a (more) fully conscious 'birdsong' that does more than just 'communicate' or 'send signals'; but is aware of tonal, rhythmic, syntax & other variations among the 'speakers' themselves.

It may also suggest linguistic 'creativity', long thought to be the sole province of humans. That is, the capacity to:

1. Use 'words'. Vocal sounds combined to form discrete sequences, which have unique specific meanings: ie, 1 sound combination = 1 word/idea.
2. Create new words, using new combinations of sounds, that eventually become part of language.

The imitative behaviour of the Saddlebacks strongly resembles human language convergence; the natural merging of dialects whenever speakers come to live in close proximity with each other. This birdsong phenomenon is unlikely to arise spontaneously or randomly. As such, it could imply the existence of an 'avian grammar' -- "The Rules of Bird-talk" -- in which case birdsong might be considered a true language, however rudimentary - at least as defined by criteria used to judge human languages.

Great Adventures

Bon voyage!
Congrats NASA on successful first-ever Pluto probe lift off in Florida. New Horizons blasted off at 10 miles p/s: "the fastest man-made object ever to leave Earth's orbit." Yeehaw! I love the Yanks; they always do the cool, sexy stuff! God bless America! Could you imagine launching a plutonium propelled probe from nuke-free NooZeelin? Impossible! We're far too wussy, unimaginative, too broke and fussed with negativity. And then there's bureaucracy... RMA, environment issues, compliance with Treaty & traditional Maori space-travelling rights... and, and, and... (y'know the drill). So glad the US retains pioneering spirit. Unlike NZ, which more resembles Pluto: remote, tiny, quiet, icey. Like the littlest planet, we're utterly useless & of no practical value to anyone. Sorry to be pointless & bleak (like a French novel), just pondering the frigid extremes out there on the cold, dark edge of nowhere - yup, life in NZ, aint nowhere else quite as dull.

Ruatapu's revenge
Quiet giggle to self about invading Japanese Jellyfish, while recalling major Tairawhiti (East Coast) coming-to-NZ tradition. The tale of "Paikea - The Whale Rider." One variation recounts bloody feud in distant land between insulted sibling, Ruatapu, jealous of Paikea & brothers. Lured out to deep ocean on fishing expedition, club-wielding Ruatapu sinks canoe and dispatches brothers in fatricidal frenzy. Only Paikea survives, swept away by freak ocean surge. Implacably hate-filled, Ruatapu drowns but not before eternally cursing Paikea; promising plagues of jellyfish to forever thwart, harass, attack and bedevil brother's despised descendants.

Adrift mid-ocean, near-drowned with exhaustion, a desperate Paikea recites magical incantations to conjure ancestor, The Whale, who miraculously materialises assuring The Whale Rider safe passage across ocean to shore at Ahuahu (White Island). Paikea would eventually sire entire stocks of coastal people, who enjoy whale's bounty as gifts from 'ancestors' that gladly beach themselves as offerings to sate Paikea's children's hunger.

Yet the curse of Ruatapu remains. When swarms of jellyfish wash up along East Coast beaches, it augurs huge destructive tidal surges; Ruatapu returns seeking vengeance against the Whale People: descendants of - and folk deriving substenance from - Paikea (Whales). Wherever the esteemed Paikea swims or is sought, he's haunted by hordes of unwelcome jellyfish, the spiteful spirit of the wrathful Ruatapu.

ps - Not being superstitious or anything; just seeing signs & observering omens ;-)

Dumb Maoris

who ya gonna call?
Iraena Asher's mum furious blood not exacted on release of PCA report into daughter's disappearance. I have aroha* for her mum & whanau, yet I don't blame the cops. IIRC, Iraena who suffered mood disorders, had been boozing & taking drugs. She made 111 call (emergencies only if life/property immediately threatened) & wandered away from house providing refuge. Hate to sound callous, but imo she's a victim of her own stupidity.

Never underestimate the sheer brainlessness of: (1) Women (2) Maoris (3) Beautiful people, who often live charmed lives expending minimal cognitive effort as people trip over themselves, eager to help & please. Growing up around Maori women, I recognise Iraena's profile: garden variety drunken ditz, spinning from one dizzy adventure to the next. An aspiring model, with narcissism well developed; a good-time party girl cum attention-hog diva, demanding adoration, pity or rescuing. Perhaps this time, a frolic too far?

Who's to blame for her disappearance? Hard to say, but surely not the police - who aren't baby-sitters & treated her phonecall full of semi-incoherent mutterings of feeling unsafe - and no names or details of specific threats - with due diligence it deserved. A drunk, stoned chick in the city rings cops & tells them she's scared... Doesn't sound like an 'emergency' to me. No wonder she's become MSM's darling mythic tragic heroine: pretty, innocent, vulnerable, mysteriously vanishes, and perfect victim foil for big bad boys in blue, whom the NZPA hate for some reason. Sorry, Asher family, I truly feel for your loss. But your anger at the cops, understandable during grief, is misplaced.

* aroha
Please, please, please a million times! "Aroha" means 'sadness' or 'condolences'; at best 'empathy' - but NOT 'love'. Drives me croizey when translated as 'lurrrv'. Especially "Arohanui" (lot's of love). No, no, no! "Arohanui" means something like, "most deepest heartfelt sympathies". When you say "arohanui" to someone, you're actually saying, "oh my goodness, I feel so terribly sad for you!" or similar.
(just my little personal linguistic hang-up of the week - had to get off chest)

yours neurotically,
Phil

More dumb Maoris
My family. Have been disgusted at own whanau (sisters & cousins) and their hell brats, whilst visiting intensive care at hospital recently. They just let their kids loose, running 'round the joint causing havoc & commotion. Had to growl them HEAPS, much to their clueless parents' dismay. Was reminded of all that recent PC crap being forced on Fire Brigades about appropriate Maori protocol at death sites. Was terribly ashamed of whanau, because imo, the IC unit is itself (sadly) often a 'death site' - a place where souls depart - even the waiting rooms assume a sombre character as nervous families await progress updates & receive terrible news.

My whanau are Maoris, no doubt about it, yet were happy to laugh, throw rugby balls and let children run amok amongst other visitors grievously worried about critically injured patients. Where was this putative, culturally appropriate, Maori respect for death, I wondered? When the nurses complained the kids were pressing all the buttons in the lifts [which coulda been tragic in emergency], I hit the roof with family-sized tantrum. How can parents be so mindlessly irresponsible as to turn ICU into a playground for unattended kids? All this talk about Emergency Services needing to be more sensitive to Maori death customs rings pretty hollow to me, having witnessed own whanau's behaviour at a 'death scene' this week. The truth is that death is always tragic - in every culture. And Maoris, imo, should have no special rights nor exemptions when dying or killed in public.

The dumbest Maori of all
Yes, that would be me. Oops, I've done it again and fallen madly in (unrequited) love with Object of Insane Desire. I can withstand All of the disordering passions, except l'Amour. Public vilification? Not a problem! National humiliation? Barely a shrug of indifference! Murderous rage? Oh, how drearily ordinary! All endured with stoic detatchment, ruthlessly suppressed with steely self-will. But one tiny little prick of Cupid's arrow and I fall to pieces. I hate myself for being this weak. My aching Achilles' soul...

Two years ago, developed fixation on OID, a regular commuter on my train home. Several disastrous flirting attempts & one unequivocal rejection later, after mustering courage to declaim romantic interest, I decided -- as a wannabe right-winger -- not to blame anyone but self & resolved to take full responsibility for my crap life. So, amending travel schedule to avoid OID, & after much prayer, meditation & affirmations (plus many sessions of alcohol therapy) I finally regained sanity & grip on rampaging heart. And life was fine...

...until today. Hopping aboard late train & who should I encounter? That's right, OID in the flesh. Swear I heard strains of Rachmaninoff's 2nd piano concerto upon recognition. Face fevered with sweat, heart pounding and free falling feeling in stomach, to my terrified astonishment, realised I'm still smitten - & will have to go through all that turmoil again. I'm particularly bad at falling in love, even by my usual obsessive-compulsive standards. Feel a complete idiot, turning 40 next year & behaving like besotted teenager. All I can think about is OID, and it's tormenting. Love truly is a heartache; like toothache or earache, a constant throbbing pain, intruding into thoughts & dominating consciousness, spoiling everday life. I Hate being in Love. So, if ANYONE has a cure for love-sickness... please, please advise!

Enough blogging for the evening! Time to relax and start dreaming of you-know-who...

Keep New Zealand Green!

Save The Snails!
Feeling rather tender today, thus appalled at Evil state-owned energy firm threatening Giant Snails' extinction by mining habitat. These are no ordinary slugs (like the ones overseas) but Kiwi Snails. Huge buggers found no where else in God's creation. Save our Heritage!

"There are just 500 snails left on the 4ha area"

Where are our patriots outraged at national faunicide? I applaud the Happy Valley 15 (rugby symbolism, anyone?) as true Kiwis! Never mind those buggers silly enough to live on the West Coast worrying about mining jobs. If you're dopey enough to not move to the Nth Island, you deserve to unemployed, imho. As for tired arguments about energy benefits from extracting minerals -- at the risk of repeating myself -- if Sth Islanders didn't Choose to live in such a COLD place, they'd use less electricity trying to keep warm, so we wouldn't need more power, now, would we? Go, the Patriotic Eco-freaks! Protect NZ! Save powelliphanta augustus!

blogging blues

defamatory diatribe
Former Liberty Belle unhappy with freedom of speech for online opiners. MP turned journo, Deb Coddington, sulks about tone of political discourse describing kiwi bloggers as "vicious", "abusive", "sad" & "pathetic" - I had no idea she read my blog! Still, a tad hypocritical considering she was once paid a handsome parliamentary salary to likewise indulge in inane invective. Recoiling at labels:

"anorexic drag queen in high heels", "Boring, Irritable, Testy, Catty, Hateful" [and a] "white trash gold digger"

She could've chosen different wedding vows! Deb should pick her webpages wisely, constantly clicking 'close window' & 'back' buttons - as a Self Responsible surfer. That's what an Adult - free to decide - would do. Or has ACT changed philosophy?

go forth & multiply
Sydneysiders seeking sperm from NZers as fertility clinic pays kiwis to cum in containers. As a nation full of wankers, we're well suited. Personally, I don't give a toss - but don't let that stop you! Must be a scarcity of patrotic pullers 'cross the Tazzy with Mark Latham no longer prominent.

"potential donors will have to pass stringent physical and mental assessments"

Which could explain shortage of suitable Ozzy offerers. Alas, Aucklanders aren't forthcoming to sharing loins' bounty; a future father frets:

"You might end up having 17 children all coming to try and find you"

Enough of disparaging Maori fathering practices! Stop sowing the seeds of discontent!

Personal Note: Will blog-lite (if at all) over next few days. Niece suffered heart attack yesterday and remains in intensive care in induced coma. All very touch & go at the mo...

Update - 8:51pm. Doing much better. Heartbeat around 108 & dropping. Still unconscious. Nurse reported earlier hand movements and eyes opening briefly.

line disconnected...

who let the dogs out?
Linda Clark leaves RNZ. Thank goodness. One less screeching harpy to shill for the hard left. Not that it'll matter, Radio Labour will no doubt find similarly rancorous replacement. Future career plans for Linda include becoming a scarecrow or the title role in movie Pinocchio (no special make-up effects needed). How this truly repulsive character ever managed to earlier appear on TV remains an inscrutable mystery: she had zero charisma, a belligerent attitude & is just plain hideous homely! Frightful to look at, irritating to listen to, a detestable personality with equally unattractive politics - she's a True Mutt: ugly to the bone! Go home, Fido! Someone call the pound!

Hang up
Conservation Minister unable to sustainably manage cellphone resources chalking up near $13K bill in latest taxpayer expenditure outrage. He's obviously not calling hubby since Mr Carter (already most expensive travelling MP) spends over $2K weekly commuting companion. What to make of his profligate prattling? His eye perhaps on post as London High Commisioner? He appears supremely qualified. He could then upgrade civil union to full blown marriage, just like Elton John. If Chris' taxi bills start making headlines we'll know John Hunt's tenure is very shakey indeed.

Daddy's girl
Sub-human Christchurch lovers botch attempt at offing old man. Rebuffing reunification, daughter decides dad should die. Homicidal humorists hatch plan for prankish patricide:

"She andboyfriend & another youth decided to murder the father & dump his body in the Waimakariri River. The court heard it was a bad joke (!!!) that turned sour"

Sounds hilarious. Murder with mirth. Oh, those wacky Cantabrians! Real funny, huh! Joke's on us with jelly-spined judge not jailing reprehensible reprobate. Cuddling kid-killers should be a crime. Our court system's comical & it's no laughing matter.

Voodoo alert
PC ablaze with bicultural apartheid forced on Nelson firefighters as memorandum signed between Volunteer fire brigades & touchy, precious, thin-skinned local Maoris. Most disturbing is ridiculous dictum, delivered by supportive local Fire Chief himself, soon to be implemented nationwide. Has our collective sanity gone up in smoke? Outrage flimsily justified as a response to 6 year old car crash:

"Mistakes were made in the way firefighters allowed members of the local Maori community access to the accident scene"

This is Obscene! Is there a culturally appropriate way to die in a car crash or burning building? Or a uniquely Maori way to rescue victims? This latest manifestation of rampaging PC-sickness needs extinguishing. Maori have NO special rights granting privilege to accident scenes - particularly when Pakeha perish in Pakeha roads & buildings. Perhaps indignant iwi, in keeping with tradition, should live solely in thatched huts, travelling only by canoe to avoid insensitive roadways & 'racist' rescuers.

identity crisis
National nominal navel-gazing with Census option for Kiwi/ NZ/ Pakeha/ European/ White/ Caucasians to define distinctive selfhood & forge favoured linguistic label. "Who cares?" and "What's it to ya!" arguments aside, just like an internet meme, it's a fun riddle we all play when filling out forms.

Monself? I'm 'half-caste' - or 'mulatto' as I now insist with suitably exotic theatrical flair. Dad's a Pom [friggin' foreigners!] & mum's from the Coast. That's "East" Coast for you wayward linguistic-contrarian mainlanders. When I enrolled at Uni, I chose 'Maori' - gotta do something to lift those woeful Maori education stats! Whenever I'm arrested, become unemployed or otherwise disgraced, I insist on being recorded as Pakeha/NZ European. That's just my own humble li'l iwi-wide contribution to 'readdressing ethnic disparities' - gosh I'm philanthrophic! ;-)

Have fun 'whoever' you are this census, all Kiwis, NZers, Others & Unspecifieds!
"God Defend our Free Land!"

Jonah & the Japs

Banzai!
Harrumphing harpoonists revive WWII chic sending armed aircraft to deal with hull-lacerating eco-pirates. Weary whalers consider enlisting major trade partner, Ozzy, to assist as South sea saboteurs aggravate global conflagration. Perhaps French expertise in pest control is warranted - should be a blast! Meanwhile us kiwis keep punching above our weight. MPs Goff & Carter faithfully cleave to Labour's foreign policy of only ever opposing Americans, and simper ineffectually urging restraint & responsibility.

But not all NZ politicians lack assertive, virile leadership. Burning with fury of 1000 gorse fires, Jeanette Fitzsimons, undergoes extraordinary transformation, unleashing Xena-clone alter-ego to single-handedly stare down Japanese Imperialists. Conjuring spirit of Joan of Arc, Spain's Queen Isabella & Maggie Thatcher; Greens leader assumes terrifying persona of Avenging She-Samurai declaring war on Nipponese nefariousness. Enviro-amazon pre-empts UN Security Council demanding Awesome Power of nz navy negate nautical negligence. Gutsy lady & brilliant military strategist! Shame Helen didn't pick her as Defence Minister.

All of which has moved greenie-jihadi & pro-whale skipper to describe NZ's Govt as "contemptible." Thank you. Someone had to say it! (I would've added "disgraceful" and "corrupt" - but that's coz my Christian heritage means I only see the best in people).

witches of waitangi

Just wundrin'... (along with the organisers) whether The Hag will show her ugly face at this year's New Zealand Day protests celebrations? If so, where and for how long? And should our PM attend any powhiris, I wonder (given his/her indeterminate gender) whether it'll karanga or whai-korero in the rich deep baritone to which we're accustomed?

More interesting will be appearance of regular & home-boy, Mr Hone Harawira - who is now, let it be noted - a Member of our white, racist, colonial, imperialistic, land-thieving Parliament. Or at least that's how he used to describe our honourable representatives. Wonder if dear old mum will show up to dote on golden boy? Wonder if she's in charge of the welcoming ceremonies & hospitality?

Wonder if she'll make the Hag cry again?

Fingers crossed...

curtains

Farewell, Tana!
End of an era with Captain Umaga stepping down as All Black skipper after illustrious international career spanning 74 tests. Parochial footy fans in NZ's most esteemed city need not yet fret; the sensational centre spurns lucrative English club offers, pledging to remain Captain Hurricane for the forseeable future. Our most winsome wishes for Wainui's wonderboy!

lavender ladies
Less lauded are lip-locking lesbians told to pucker off after Sapphic scenario displayed on test cricket screen. Unsurprisingly, deviant MP Chris Carter -- eager to foist same-sex scurrility on TV, schoolkids and (now) sports stadiums -- indignantly misses the point:

this is a human rights issue. If there's no kissing allowed at all, then fair enough. But if opposite-sex couples can kiss, then... same-sex couples should be allowed to as well

Methinks it's a property rights issue; stadium managers can evict whomever they like. I wish, along with streakers, flashers & other rag-tag exhibitionists, they'd spare our youngsters & family-minded fans by practising perversions in private.

fighting fatties
Dad's Army weighs up hefty issue of enlisting super-sized soldiers, augmenting entry criteria for prospective recruits previously bogged down by limits mandated by Body Mass Index measurements. The change acknowledges:

"the fact that the BMI is not a perfect science... BMI is calculated by squaring your height in metres & then dividing your weight in kilograms by the result"

The BMI system does not account for strength, stamina, heart rates or recovery periods - standard guides for assessing true fitness. It also penalises more squat figures at the expense of lankiness & by unduly empahasising weight, disregards mass difference between bone, muscle & fat. Good on the Poms for exercising pragmatism over pat, arbitrary and (un)scientific formulae.

besides, size isn't everything...
(regardless of what women say) as proved by Mt Wellington firm, Rakon, who've developed new miniaturised GPS receivers the size of a baby's thumbnail. The market for mobiles incorporating the technology is expected to swell to 2 billion within 15 years. It's hoped that soon:

all cellphones could have GPS chips embedded in them.. [that] can locate the user to within metres - useful for emergency services finding an injured person or for information such as directions...

The Auckland company already manufactures crystals & oscillating components used in majority of world's GPS devices - including (one assumes) American bombs used in the War on Terror. Let's hope no one transmits this message to Aucklander, Keith Locke, via his mobile...

save our coppers!

Get well soon...
Policewoman bashed in Tauranga makes progress in intensive care. 27 year old thug in court today facing charges of assault; additional, more serious charges pending. Let's hope they include: assault with intent to injure; grievous bodily harm; & attempted murder - she was hit repeatedly over the head with a tire rim, suffering fractured skull, nose and shoulder. Better news overall, however, with police crediting the introduction of pepper spray - miraculously transforming would-be assailants into compliant citizens - for the declining numbers of assaults against police. (Statistics don't include the commensurate rise of hit pieces by effete, effeminate flunkies posing as NZPA journalists). And good on Ron Mark, who regularly joins patrol cars & witnesses our scum class first-hand, for urging tougher penalties for cop-bashing cretins. Whoulda thunk it? A poli with a sense of perspective & firm grasp of reality. Unlike Nat police spokesman, trapped in dithering passivity & empty weasely posturing, twiddling while Home burns.

not so cutesy animal story
Kiwi ingenuity to the fore as inventive Otago farmers unleash the bunny blaster in war against rabbit plague. Mixing oxygen, propane and a spark to roast rodents, the Rodenator has animal rights groups hopping mad:

"they quite likely will be injured & they could well suffer from severe burns, broken limbs & they will suffer a horrible death"

Umm, isn't that the whole point? There's no hope convincing hare-brained activists. Let them burrow their heads underground and hope the rapscallion rabbit numbers don't come bouncing back.

n.s.c.a.s. 2
Catfood takes on whole new meaning in Shanghai with rise of moggy-meals as stray pets get skewered. Not pussy-footing about, locals chow down on feline fare, eliminating widespread vermin & alleviating mass hunger. While our own culture would find the practice wholly unpalatable, it must be said that communist cuisine does give one paws for thought.

n.s.c.a.s. 3
Tragedy compounded as friends of Banks Peninsula man, drowned in doggedly determined effort to save beloved pet, blame emergency services for his demise. Citing tardiness & procedural bungling, understandably upset acquaintances may be barking up wrong tree attempting to exculpate friend claiming:

[he] shouldn't be criticised for diving into dangerous waters to save his dog, Rossi, because the animal was like a family member. "Nobody would think twice about jumping in the water to save a child. Rossi was like a baby to Dave (Clarke) so he had to save him."

Sorry for your loss, but anyone confusing canines with kids is too irresponsibly clueless to be entrusted with animal ownership, much less procreate, imo. His actions alone, noble but foolhardy, cost him his life & no amount of hounding rescue helicopter team or muttering about man's best friend can undo that.

shucks

Celeb wedding
Stacey Daniels & Scotty Morrison tie the knot at Ohinemutu marae. Bet the singing at the doo was to die for. I LOVE weddings. So what if they're major girly affairs? There's only 2 big whanau get togethers: tangi and weddings. At one, everyone mopes around depressed for guest of honour who ends up covered in 6 feet of dirt. The other, a festive occassion with guests dolled up to the nines, a Massive Feed & heaps of free p*ss! Actually, in that sense - coffin and spectacular, show-stopping gown apart - there's very little to distinguish them...
Anyhow, as for our Tele-pretty newlyweds, what fine looking progeny they should sire. Hope they inherit mum's sparkling personality, dad's a bit... umm, let's just say we've enough grumpy Maoris as it is, thank you very much...

summer romance?
Love in the air for our could've been Prime Minister, Mr Brash? Last seen wooing women promising pink makeover to soften National & seduce nation's female electorate. Dunno why he doesn't just join the Labour Party, since populism overrides principles (or so it seems) - and then at least ONE of Cullen's team would be economically literate. But let's not be too hasty in dismissing lusty Lothario's skirt-chasing adventures as mere cynical vote-grabbing ploy. After all, his penchant for women (other than one currently married to) is legendary. Could be the McCoy?

spoilt for choice...
And who better to explain our chronic supply/demand imbalance of too many women, not enough blokes, than an experienced number cruncher, himself. Mr Brash might well have wise counsel for the pining single Southern belle upset that:

"A lot of my friends in Christchurch are always looking for nice guys but there doesn't seem to be that many available"

Don't fret, Madam. I'm sure one day you'll find the skin-head of your dreams. In the interim, brush up on your Chinese and Somalian, there's plenty of lonely visa-hungry students and refugees to go around. True love may be only one short cab call away...

there's always child-minding...
Proving Auckland men are likewise undesirable as partners is desperate 23 yr old baby-sitter, accused of intimacies with boy 10 years her junior. Considering the mass metrosexualisation of Jafa-guys with their moisturised skin, pedicured tootsies with waxed & tanned panty lines - perhaps she was looking for a good old-fashioned Man; one who spends less time & money than her on daily beauty regime. I would say, "how sick & revolting" but since it's the Queen City under discussion, such descriptions are redundant.

hen pecked

indigestible...
Look out young fat kiwi pie-eating b*stards, Schoolyard Bullies coming to steal your lunchbox. Anti-obesity campaigner & nagging wench, Robin Toomath (with direct lines to both Pete Hodsgon & DomPost editor, it seems) to confiscate your kids' calories and force War on Obesity down our throats. Good news is some schools won't stomach such intimidation and are biting back at pushy fat-busters. Chew on that, Suckers!

we're begging you to take her!
Rumours persist about Helen Cluck succeeding Kofi as next Cheeky Dykie in top UN role. Kofi's ex-squeeze, Sue Kedgley, ovulates at thought of our first elected Lesbian Prime Minister getting the nod. OTOH, I hope the Yanks veto, just to annoy her coz I'm a spiteful bugger, but otherwise, I'd be glad to get rid of her and it'd be nice to give the whole world the opportunity to hate her as well.

what's in a name?
Provocatively named drink "Fighting Cock" raises ire of lesbian pacifists & worrywort Healthwatch group. Unconcerned about damage to youngsters directly attributed to alcohol itself, they're more alarmed the drink's name may promote aggressive poultry & illegal behaviour. Advertising Standards Authority, in brief lapse into common sense, tells complainant to get a life. What aggrieved times we must live in. Nothing's too minor, frivolous or petty to become worked up over. Health watchdogs should pour themselves a stiff drink and chill!

le coq sportif
Gallic fighting spirit reborn with French pensioner, infuriated at Du Champ for taking the p*ss out of modern art, attacking his strange & much overpraised urinal display voted most Influential Work of all time. Most bizarre is his rationale:

"Having just become a simple object for pissing after having been the most famous object in the history of art, its existence was broken, it was going to have a miserable existence. Better to put an end to it with a few blows from a hammer. Not at all the action of a vandal, more of a charitable act," he said

Is that what they mean by a "merci killing"? All I can say is, "Thank you, Monsieur!"
I agree. About time! What took you so long? As for Du Champs' so-called 'art'? Let's not talk crap - his work is excrement! Pull the chain & flush it!

Capricorns of the World Unite!

you have nothing to lose but your... ah, shaddap! We don't believe in that stuff, anyway, coz we're cynical, practical, earthy & materialistic.

Happy Boithday [as they say in New Jersey] to me! I sprang forth into the World of Light 39 years thence. And to be honest, I really don't know why I bothered... Hope someone buys me some wine... or chocolates... or something nice you can eat...

It's a start...
Building collapse in Mecca kills 15 pilgrims. Heck. Must be the will of Allah. This is already one of my best birthdays ever!

Shame the fire at Jeanette Fitzsimon's place wasn't a funeral pyre. Daft old cow breaks law & pollutes our pristine environment burning gorse at home. Like fellow rich toff, dietary authoritarian & brutal view-obscuring Pohutakawa Tree-massacaring, Sue Kedgley & dope-smoker Nandor, she's a HYPOCRITE to Make Laws only to casually discard them when personally inconvenient.

What's with all the goss about our revolting PM becoming UN head? Surely it can't be Mark Sainsbury's birthday as well? Let's see - she's a dirty filthy low-down corrupt, lying, thieving, socialist despotic pig & she HATES America. She's a shoo-in! As a patriot, I'm excited we'll be exporting kiwi misery globally and am humbled by her proud legacy bestowed on our nation of rugby fans keen never to miss the game.

maori feminist arcana

Spent couple of nights catching up with old friend, last sighted 10 or so years ago. Refusing to grow old gracefully & with typical Ngati Porou dissident gusto, 50-something pal now labels self "a feminist". Startled but intrigued by her Whole New Me makeover, I was nevertheless fascinated by two things she brought up.

1. The much rah-rah-ed Te Maori art exhibition that toured the US in the '80s DID NOT CONTAIN a single item associated with traditional women's art - no weavings, no cloaks, mats, baskets, wall panellings, etc.
The show was completely dominated by carvings: wood, bone & greenstone ornaments; tattooing; painting & decorative stuff. I was genuinely amazed with sympathetic agreement.

2. She's finishing degree at Vic (Maori/Art History) & is most annoyed The Maori Dept have completely exiled Maori Goddesses from their curriculum. The Women's Dept has far more info & resources re Atua Wahine than the Maoris. Good on Women's Studies for being scholarly; collecting & curating info - like a good knowledge caretaker would do. As for M Studies at Poneke University... hmm, perhaps better left unsaid...

There you go. Two things to be 'outraged' about if you want ;-)

simply divine

Macabre journalists
NZPA's strange, white "Culture of Death" in full bloom with our hacks cheering on Oz serial killer. In another lame attempt at hero-making, like the matricidal Leslie Martin, the media won't shut up about him. Why do our journos laud killers, like euthanasiats & abortionists? In centuries time, anthropologists will look back puzzled -- like we do at the Incas -- by our blood-lusting culture that routinely requires 'sacrificial victims' to appease a false God. In our case, we've 'deified' concepts of "dying with dignity" & "wimmin's right to (murder a unique, human individual in) her body."

Karma
[Cosmic] Justice is served as contemporary Robin Hood fleeces scumbag lawyers for over half a $Mil. You can't complain when thieves themselves get burgled; let's give her a Nobel Prize! Who says crime doesn't pay, is morally unjustifiable or can't have a happy ending? She got a whole swag of cash and three lawyers got burned. A win-win result! Case closed.

Contemptuous Loathesome Fag & enemy of free-speech, aka our Chief censor, takes brief pause from banishing Christianity and homophobic hate-speech, to peddle 'unsafe sex' stickers on smut films. Who cares? Only public movie screenings could ever possibly be forced to comply, & the best porn is online (credit card & broadband recommended). Besides, anyone who watches porn in public is a bit pervy, if you ask me. Ignore the bloviating of butt-busting Bill, our State Moral Guardian is easily bypassed. The internet makes him irrelevant & aint nothin' pushy, nancy fag boy can do about it.

No argument here
Local radio poll voted Mozart's Clarinet Concerto (K622) his greatest composition. A big call, considering his rep & prolific output, but a good one, imho. It is quintessentially Him. The 1st movement grand, stately, graceful & elegant, lively yet restrained. A late work, his exuberance matured, but still oozes joy & quiet hope. The 2nd, a sumptuous, dream-like floating serenity. Nobody does adagio quite like Mozart; time stands still, we commune with the divine, the transcendant. His glorious finale encapsulates his signature cantabile style for single instrument; uncanny mimicking of the human-voice's character. The clarinet does more than just sing - it chortles & laughs, gossips & chatters; teasing & funny like the garrulous party guest, stealing the show with high-spirited tales and hilarious anecdotes. The concerto ranks with all the Great Masterpieces in world art history, imo, Every single inspired note perfect. Happy 250th birthday, Wolfie!

Save Paikea!

Where's a Fat Boy when you need one?
Fond remembrances of Hiroshima & Nagasaki on hearing Japs increasing cetacean slaughter in the Southern Whale Ocean Sanctuary. Greedy, poaching Nips! They begin 2006 at #1 on the International Hate List.

As an aside, aren't we lucky the Greens & Labour didn't win big in the election? Probably woulda passed their "Hate Speech" legislation by now, rendering my International Hate List illegal. My blog would've been shut down the first week I started - LOL. Enjoy being offensive while you still can!

Anyhow, I'm not a greeny, but some things are far too cute to kill. Besides, Paikea is my illustrious ancestor, as is the Tairawhiti tradition. I'm not an economist, but does anyone think we should sell all our stranded whales - like the pod we euthanised the other day - to the Japs? Just tryin'a be businesslike...

T'was a good idea... (in theory)
The dream of a unified Europe in tatters as the 25 EU member states wrestle with deep-rooted, labyrinthine, near intractable problems. What could be wrong with an overly zealous constitution strangling & smothering all business opportunity and entreprenurialism; cripplingly high taxes and regulations; high unemployment & stagnant economic growth; centuries-old, festering nationalistic resentments between neighbours; ageing native populations far below replacement level and hordes of unassimilable immigrants with swelling, unstoppable, birthrates; mass spiritual disenchantment, barreness & ennui in a 'post-Christian' era. What's not to like? To think the EU once fancied itself as a future counterbalance to the US's global supremacy... ROTFL

why am I not surprised?
The most comprehensive study of ABORTION in NZ -- 13,000 women aged 25 or under -- showed 42% of maternal-gene lacking sheilas who Killed Their Own Baby, later suffered major depression:

"This result is nearly double the rate of those who had never been pregnant and over a third higher than those who had chosen to continue their pregnancy"

In other words: Baby Killing May Be Harmful To Your Mental Health. It is, of course, 100% harmful to the baby, 100% of the time. I wonder what libertarians, who heartily endorse abortion, make of all this. I wonder what advice, if any, they'd prescribe. Personally, I think women who choose to KILL their babies have gotta be pretty deranged in the first place, but that's just me...

Y'reckon?

Pommy Git Alert
No, not a story about Michael Cullen, but an Envious Englander deriding Wellington as boring. Yes, it's true that we may lack the soccer hooliganism, race riots, mass drunken vomiting in public (and let's not forget those exploding jihadists on trains & buses) of London. Not to mention the morose attitudes and even worse dentistry which drove our ancestors to flee the Antipodean icebox in the first place. Seems the Poms are repugnant both at home and abroad, no wonder the Irish wanna bomb them. Who can blame them? Go, IRA!

Update: There were 35 stabbings in London during New Year festivities. And NONE in boring, old Wellington. Oh, what a tedious, wearisome bunch we are in the Capital; lacking all the 'fun & excitement' of Merry Olde England.

Vive le bonfire!
The Frogs see in the New Year with 425 cars torched overnight. The Associated Press, in usual denial-style avoids mentioning the religious affiliation of these so-called 'rowdy revelers'. Apparently, in the liberal-media gaga-land of see-no racism, hear-no racism, speak-no racism, we're expected to overlook (Emperor's New Clothes style) that these arsonists are all adherents of the Religion of Peace. Le Grand Frog himself, President Chirac, responds in typical French style - & surrenders:

"Diversity is part of our history: It is a resource," he said. "It is an asset for our future."

As an unassimilable, uncivilised mob of African muslims spread cancerously out of control throughout the Republic, the best their leaders can do is cheer on the barbarians and the concomitant death spiral of their nation
Au revoir, France! Hello, Eurabia!

HTML Meltdown
Was playing around with the (kiwi) blogroll trying to organise folks into "categories" when an alcohol-induced 'slip' caused me to delete (quite) a few names. Sorry! My bad! Promise to restore you all when I finally track down your pages. I wuzn't having a tanty or anything - I still *love* you - just being a clumsy klutz, that's all.

Come back soon!
Know what? I can't wait for Parliament to resume. I miss the constant stories about politicians who are such BIG targets for ridicule & scorn; I'm running out of people to pick on...

Whanau update
Brother & co have gone to the beach to get seafood. No way am I gonna eat anything that lived in the waters surrounding Poneke. I don't even swim in the beaches until well north of Pie-cock. Effluent City! Ewww!

Oh, please!
The unmitigated CHEEK of the NZPA to bemoan falling public confidence in the cops! Friggin' hypocrites! Labour can not be blamed entirely even though Hawkins was a complete disaster, as was the focus on ticketing motorists and revenue gathering. BUT, the souring of public relations began with the journalists themselves. Phil Kitchener (whom I loathe more than the entire Labour caucus combined) spent 18 months investigating Louise Nicolas' 20 year old claims of gang-rape. Kitchener, being a pathetic wimpy white wussy, castrated by feminists and schooled in sensationalist journalism, swallowed Louise's every word, hook, line & sinker. What a dickhead! Perhaps his naivety is the curse of contemporary middle-class pakeha. Adhering to the male oppressor/ female victim paradigm, Phil, apparently never considered the following truths about slutty white trash (which are common knowledge to many Maori & working classes everywhere). Namely, some women:

• lie about rape
• have sexual fantasies
• enjoy group sex
• have a fetishistic attraction to men in uniforms
• are incurable drama queens
• are nasty & vindictive, scheming sh*t-stirrers
  

Following her accounts in the media, I knew immediately Nicolas was a screwed up lying twit. Particulary her claim the cops kept returning to her house, where she'd invite them in... only to be 'raped' again & again, day after day. On oestrogen overdrive, the feminazi media avalanche begun. Louisa Cleave, Simon Colling, Helen Tunnah, Michele Hewitson, Elizabeth Binning & most of all their pussy-whipped editor, Tim Murphy, would daily trash the cops with tales of woe - no incident too small to be feverishly blown out of proportion. Swept away on a wave of victim-hysteria, they invented and relentlessly peddled the "sick culture" of our police. Rapists, incompetents, liars & thieves - the daily slander continued, broadcast in all news media for over a year.

So it's a bit rich for the NZPA to now disingenously decry the lowering of public-esteem for our cops when they've been in their journalistic cross-hairs for so long. The NZ media are beneath contempt. In my nastier moments, I pray that Every Single Hack complicitous in the daily barrage of needless cop-bashing becomes a victim of senseless crime. Perhaps then those media cowards, safe & smug in their office cubicles, might get over their juvenile animosity & develop an appreciation for our cops who must daily confront the harsh realities of human ugliness.

Happy New Year!

What a crap year it's been so far

My NY resolution to not drink lasted about 10 minutes. I started smoking about an hour later. Gotta houseful of whanau, and barely have time to spend online. I feel incredibly lethargic, even by my usually lazy leisurely standards. The Sunday News editorial had a subtle dig at prez Bush - add them to the boycott list. I'm hungry but don't know what for & am too knackered to do anything about it. I'm tired but not sleepy enough for bed. There's nothing on TV or online to grab my interest. Energy levels are way down, running on empty - I'd like to...........
..........but just can't muster the energy.

Hope I snap out of it soon. Happy New Year anyway! :-)

Oh yeah, Chinese-wise it's the Year of the Dog, which is good for us Horse folk. And the horoscope in the Sunday News said I was gonna fall in love this year & makes heaps of money. But they say that every year...

yours truly,
Broke, Single & Disillusioned with Astrology

Happy 2006!

Happy New Year!

Just thought I'd start the year off on an uplifting & inspiring note!

LUVYA DUBYA!

You are the Greatest!