The Scoop

Godspeed!
94 NZ Defence Force personnel leaving for Afghanistan this Saturday to replace Provincial Reconstruction Team in Bamyan, the seventh rotation since Sept, 2003. Good luck, troops! Interesting tidbit:

The NZDF [are deployed in]: Antarctica, Bosnia, Kosovo, East Timor, Solomon Islands, Iraq, Egypt, Lebanon, Israel, Sudan & Afghanistan.

Makes ya proud. God bless our Fighting Men & Women!

How dare you call us that!
GE-Free guys audaciously insult our home, "Switzerland of the Pacific." Firstly, it's SOUTH Pacific, thank you. Who wants to be lumped in with Asia, Mexico, Canada (we're wimpy enough already) & other rogue nations. Secondly, The Swiss? Arrgh! I don't think so! Only good thing about 'em is householders have guns (and an extremely low burglary rate). Who wants to be likened to a cuckoo-clock watching, holey-cheese making, international money-laundering, too-girly-to-fight "Neutral" country without a decent beach, that doesn't even know what language it speaks. As for much vaunted 'Fine Chocolate' they don't hold a candle to our Milky Bar Kid. Wish I could say, "Stuff that for a joke!" in French, German, Dutch & Italian.

Long live death row!
When folks enquire, "Why are you so bitter & twisted?" I reply, "Coz there's tons of creeps out there who need killing!" Exhibit A: Almost too sickening to read story of major perverted whack-job caught with over 16,000 kiddie-porn pics (including torture scenes). After also abusing and photographing girls, he'll spend a woefully inadequate 2 years, 5 months inside. Judge needs sentencing, too, IMO, for gobsmacking leniency. Wish capital punishment would make a comeback - perfect for such deviant low-lifes. Roasting in Hell for Eternity oughta be ample time for 'contrite reminiscing'.

Still, let's strive to be cheerful...
The "Fatboy from Two Dollar Bay" a.k.a. Minister of Maori Affairs, giddy over launch of Te Microsoft. Uncharacteristically free of Parekura's impenetrable verbosity. For once, his English doesn't need translating.

Sorry, what was the point again?

Crusading Motueka man camped in tree as protest against Airline's men/unattended-boys policy. Uh huh? Oh, I see the connection now... [confused look]

it had been a cold night and the tree was a "hard spot to sit," but he was willing to stay up their as long as it took

"Soldier on, brave freedom fighter!" say I. Sure as heck more original than the banner-waving lemmings that sprout sporadically on Parliament's lawn.

Slut city
Plans to make Vivian St the Capital's red-light district? Thought it already was. Seedy little dump. Beats Marion St, though, with those heinously Ugly maori & samoan drag-queens. The real trouble with Wgtn's sex industry is you can never tell if you're gonna get a 'real' woman. "Life's like a box of chocolates..."

Tell them to "Get Knotted!"
Diplomatically, of course. Get that cheeky kraut & pommy git having a go at our Winny! He mightn't enjoy universal domestic popularity, but in a NZ vs World punch-up, I'll wave that Silver Fern til the stick breaks! Don't take nonsense, Foreign Minister! Remind commie-boy, that apart from a few Bach tunes, Germany's only contribution to humanity has been yuck-tasting sausages. As for the insolent snivelling Brit, ask him: apart from overrated Shakespeare (who nobody can understand, anyway), what's England's greatest cultural achievement? That's right, it's topless model, Sam Fox's, one hit song, "Touch me, I wanna feel your body!"
And as for Mr Downer across the ditch; shouldn't Ozzy be engaging in far more urgent national matters - like how to tackle, pass, catch and kick a footy ball, maaaaayte?

The adults are in charge
Thank you, President Bush, for swatting away those irritating Global Warming weirdos trying to bully & bullcrap the world into complying with their insane demands. Begone, freaks!

"It would be nice if the US would step up and start to take some action," said Ben Matchstick, a US organiser dressed as a bird.

It would be nice if you would dress like a human. You might then be taken more seriously. And with a name like "Matchstick," you deserve to be pelted with rotten vegetables.

Die, Fairfax, die!

Cheering news about troubles in the msm as community newspaper workers strike in Akld & Wgtn. Can't vouch for content of any of papers listed, but assume they're typical outlets of leftist effluvia because:

a) look where they are
b) it's Fairfax

I support this strike unreservedly. The less socialist garbage printed, the less chance it has of polluting people's minds. Heartwarming to see journalists suffering. All my Christmases & Birthdays will come at once, the day The NZ Herald or Dom Post put down their poisonous quills to protest. Let's hope this spark of industrial unrest heralds a whole new wheel-turn in the kiwi msm's (mis)fortune.

J'accuse!

The slimey Frogs attempt to blame the Poms for the Rainbow Warrior Bombing. The Gaul! Just when you think they can't sink any lower, new depths of despicability are plummeted. They're such cowards! No wonder they keep losing wars & have a "chicken" as their national emblem.

Nats wag finger at Cantab Uni Library for Orwellian mistreatment of staff. Charges of PC run amok amongst academia are more "statement of fact", than allegation (IM fed-up O). Bravo! Time to shine the bright light of truth on these intellectual cockroaches infesting the delapidated ruins of the withered carcass that is our education sysytem.

Haven't commented on the fantastic rugby or league results of the past weekend. No need, everyone's already said it all!

Beware of flying predators... with XY genes, warns overly zealous Qantas Airlines, in unusual case of man asked to sit AWAY from unchaperoned child. What do ya expect from Ozzies? They're a flaccid lot! Ask the rugby & league fullahs. Shouldn't laugh, Air NZ's the same!

Questions:
Why didn't they get the boy to move?
Did boy pay half-price? If so, does adult's full-fare outrank kid in 'importance' stakes?
If they're so concerned about boy's "safety," why let him on the plane unattended?
Does policy apply in first class, or are only poor men child molesters?
Why didn't the man just glare and thunder with drag-queen defiance:

"Well, kiss my sweet black @ss! This is MY seat! I payed for it! YOU [stabbing pointing finger moves] allotted it to me! YOUR mistake! That's the way it is, [hands on hip] I aint goin' nowhere, [unflinching psycho-like eye-contact] come & arrest me... [upping eyeball intensity] if you want!"

Oh, I see the man's a white guy (Sorry, must have thought it was Maori Language Week or something)
Good on man for still being angry a year later. I like someone who can hold a grudge. It shows they've got 'principles' ;-)

If, on other hand, that is indeed airlines written policy, then ya just gotta move, I guess. After I landed, I would give every staff member a (semi-polite) mouthful, then home to plan crusade against airline: formal complaints, boycotts, lawsuits, smear campaigns, voodoo & black magic... anything. Anything to get back at those mumblemumblemumble

Unbelievable Update: Stuff version has Keith Locke cheering for the normal people. Usually this PC carry on is right up the Green's alley:

"I will be writing to the Human Rights Commission asking them to intervene...
"The airline needed to recognise that "men are people too"...
"It's prejudicial to presume that men can't be trusted to have contact with children..."

Topsy-turvy world! One minute we have National MPs speaking Maori in the house, next we have Keith Locke making sense. The cognitive dissonance is nearly unbearable.


Trivia for patriots
Interesting e-mail ('tip MA) via TR list about Native bees

• There are 28 species
• immune to varroa mite
• prominent insect on Mt Parihaka
  
• not considered aggressive (even our bugs are pacifist wimps)

"They don't swarm, but tunnel into ground where they make individual balls of pollen & nectar, & lay one egg on each ball. From Oct to Mar, the bees mate, build nests, lay eggs & forage, before the females die off. The males die after mating"

Windows on Waikato

Rememberances of life in Mooloo country where I first learned about puters.

Memories rekindled on hearing there are Maori versions of Windows Office and XP out now. That must be software that breaks in to online bank accounts, inserts spelling mistakes into Word documents, takes forever to load, messes up your files, uses other people's bandwidth, then quits unexpectedly :-)

Microsoft worked with the Maori Language Commission and Waikato University's School of Maori and Pacific Development to create the software

My Alma Mater! As a School of M&PD graduate, I'm flushed with pride. I bet Te Taka Keegan (onerously) translated the bulk of the 2500 tech terms into (jaw-breaking) Maori techno-jargon. Bless him! I'm really rapt.

Technophobia
Have heard repeated criticism of Bill Gates & his Evil Empire. Possibly the most derided man alive -- after my beloved Dubya, that is. But never understood the vilification of William. Being a tech-dummy helps, I guess, but also for 3 other reasons.

1. He embodies the self-made, rags-to-riches, American dream, man. I applaud his triumph. "Too much, you!" as they say on the Coast. Not trying to win any magnanimity awards, but I'm rarely, if ever, tempted by 'the sin of envy' (as for 'gluttony', 'sloth', and 'lust'... that's a whole other story). I think he's amazing. Blockbuster autobiography stuff.

2. I hate Apple. Never recovered from two traumas in formative geek years. Student blues. Panicking last-minute to get essays printed, rushed from Language Lab (Macs) where I worked to Main Campus (PCs - or whatever you call non-Macs) where my printing account is. Psychological disintegration & painful first lesson in digital racism [not all computers like each other] ensues.

Next time, having wizened (and acquired Mac-owning friend), I casually stroll to Main Campus, floppy in hand, only to find friend doesn't have Clarissworks on his laptop. Nervous breakdown #2

ps - years later, now the proud owner of PC and printer, I finally found the Mac computer & printing rooms on main campus (that had been there All That Time).

3. Unix? Linux? Sheesh, I can't even spell it. Have barely the vaguest half idea what this wikipedia-type, self-help, do-it-yourself Windows alternative is all about. Much less how to install or use it. So, 'til then, stuck with Bill's wares that at least have decency to already "be there" when you buy a new computer -- and save newbies untold hassle.

Ahhh, those were the days before I discovered...

'Print Preview'. How many trees had to die pre-WYSIWYG days for the sake of mere 'proper paragraph alignment'. My education cost thousands, most of it spent in computer printing rooms going, "Damn, that still doesn't look right!"

'Page Break' - and used to go Enter/Enter/Enter/Enter/Enter to begin a new page.

'Advanced Search' on google. How many trillions of irrelevant unnecessary links have I wasted my life reading? Sometimes horrifyingly. I typed 'All Blacks' once - tons of guff & surprising numbers of links to African American porn. My rugby-loving heart skipped a beat!

What Alt/Ctrl keys were about. Those shortcuts must be saving me bulk on future medical bills for overused mouse hand, arm & shoulder.

The more I learn about computers, the more paranoid I am
about everything... DPF warns that when you click on Kiwiblog, he can tell:

• The pages you browse on his site
• The referring page or link you came from
• The search engine query you used to find the blog
• Your IP adddress
• Your machine name
• Your web browser version
• Your operating system

While not begrudging DPF (to the contrary, he's a good fulla), assuming your Average website-Joe can do similar, it's quite frightening (in my scaredy-cat opinion) that other's "know" so much about you while surfing.

True Personal Cyber Horror Story, hazily remembered: Aimlessly surfing, encountered ad for Internet Security program. Ad said, "Click Here," so I clicked there, lo & behold, there's an exact 'photo' of my My Documents folder, complete with customised folder names & everything. As if website could "see" into my machine. Mortifying! Didn't log on to web for days after.

System Restore on Windows XP is also a bugger. Install software, weeks later uninstall it, weeks later restore puter to earlier time and find previously uninstalled program has mysteriously returned. That's weird & creepy, as if you can NEVER really purge your system of unwanted stuff.

Sacred Cows

Codswallop Alert: A 'study' by Akld Uni (most PC campus on planet) & WHO commies show kiwi women more prone to domestic violence than Japanese, Serbians & Brazilians. Because they never bother to analyse, research or rigorously critique matters, our alarmist kiwi media throws out disparate scare quotes in lieu of an actual 'story'. The obligatory Women's Refuge harpy, Anette Gillespie, chirps in:

"[earlier research shows] one in three women had experienced physical or sexual abuse"

Is this more nonsense like the outrageous "1 in 4 girls are raped by daddy" slander, the femi-nasties were propagating five years earlier? I'm cynical. She almost seems disappointed the figures weren't higher. She cites 'anecdotal evidence' (other refuges, most likely) and her broad, elastic definition of 'abuse' encompasses the very nebulously defined categories of 'psychological' and 'financial' abuse. Chief researcher, Janet Fanslow, exclaims,

"Urgent action was needed to tackle the issue of domestic violence in NZ"

and in doing so, brings her own academic motivations into question. Is she a legitimate scholar in the disinterested pursuit of knowledge, or a social activist using doubtful methodolgy & fudging figures to support a pet cause?

Good riddance!
The fancy-titled UN rapporteur will thankfully depart our shores. But not without dire warnings of imminent racial collapse. He frets over the perennial hard-luck statistics that show Maori lagging dolefully (pun intended) behind in income, education, health, crime and housing. Yet there's very little robust inquiry into 'how' or 'why' such conditions arise. The unspoken implication - somehow, it's all whitey's fault! No mention of poor life choices made, indifference to educational achievement and excellence, appalling budgetary habits, contempt for the law, or lax work attitudes. The key to success, as every Maori achiever will tell you, is a determined combination of hard work, discipline, application & self-sacrifice. The truth is, too many bottom-heap Maori have an aversion to self-imposed austerity. As sad as their stories are, their failure is entirely their own.

The last goodbye?

I'm gonna try fiddle with the HTML to add a 'Recent Posts' section. Not really sure what I'm doing. Have heard horror stories from people far tech-savvier than I, about trying to change their blogspot page. If, for some reason, this blog becomes defunct, it's because I deleted/added something I shouldn't have...

Back again... Couldn't do it! Mission failed. Bummer. At least I didn't completely stuff it up, things appear to be working OK. Truth is I'm bored, waiting for the Blacks to play Scotland. Despite whatever the time thingey says, it's 3 in the morning, rugby starts in half an hour.

Only coz everyone else's doing it/done it..
A blog policy/ disclosure/ statement thingey:

CENSORSHIP: Strictly no President Bush bashing (everyone else is fair game). He gets a hard enough time in the rest of the world's msm & blogosphere. Give the man a rest!

BLOGSPOT PROFILE: I wrote this really stupid one, and I couldn't get rid of it! No matter what I tried it wouldn't disappear, so I had to disable the whole profile thing. Not trying to be a furtive anonymite or anything. To prove it...

PERSONAL PROFILE: 38, male, capricorn, born Gisborne, English dad, Maori mum, single, live in Jville, lived in Wellington for over 30 years. No one important. Never been anyone in govt, politics, media, business, entertainment, public life. Have criminal record (refer mother's ethnic details).

EDITING: Absolutely! Life is a work in progress. And shocking proof-reading.

COMMENTS: Don't get enough of them to warrant a policy.

AUTHENTICITY: This blog is NOT a "respected academic journal" nor "scholarly source." If you quote me in your exam, don't come crying to me with your failed results.

PHOTO: Are you kidding? I'll support our tourism industry by not scaring people away from Wellington/NZ.

PLAGIARISM: Go for your life! I try not to deliberately copy people, but if you wanna 'steal' anything of mine, feel free! Hey, us Maoris have been stealing off you for years :-)

TEMPLATE: I chose this one coz it had the widest text field (to avoid excess scrolling, or torturing eyeballs with small print). I agree the orange colour is PUTRID.

If I was a clever techie fulla, I'd design homepage with NZ flag, picture of a Kiwi, NZ map, and maybe a few nice squiggly Maori patterns somewhere.

Rugby's started...

"He Autai'!"

He Autaia!

I love Dubya, he's my hero. Most Maori dialects translate "he autaia" as "a personable fellow" or "extraordinary person." Curiously, it can also mean "dreaded, fear-inspiring entity" or denote "ruinous calamity" and "unspeakable misfortune." But where I'm from, "he autaia" (contracted to he autai') simply means, "The Man!"

Freaky coincidences...
There's a King George (I'm sort of a monarchist), and a Saint George (my cousins are Catholics), and my father's middle name is George! The Maori transliteration of the name 'George' is "Hori," which is, of course, another word for 'Maori' (just like my mum!). It's as if there's this incredibly strong, fateful connection between me & the president. It's eerie... :-)

And speaking of autaia, Tana announces retirement from international rugby. Wow, that was pretty out of the blue! Good on him for being so upfront about the rigors of footy life. Thanks for you service, Mr Umaga! You're an awesome dude! He autai'!

And more autaia achievements with Brian Lara becoming the highest cricket runscorer of all time. His 11,175 tally just inching past Ozzy great, Alan Border's record. Well done! A superlative innings in anyone's book!

Wuzza matter, Winny?

Male-menopause? Why has Winston lost his bravado? Why the shameless courting of public approval? Is this part of a 'vulnerable' make-over to appeal to our natural kiwi empathy for victims and losers? And why oh why the wince-worthy self-pep talk - in full media glare, to boot!? That's pretty pathetic, even for a politican, even for Winny. Perhaps he realises that while he can get away with being a lying, scheming, phoney back home, it doesn't augur well on the international stage. The Orcland Herald has this exasperating quote:

"How about giving Winston Peters a second chance?"

How about: No Way you slimey, mendacious, self-serving, treacherous prat, who's been given far too many chances already. And you blew them! We don't trust you - you're scum! Although a highly evolved specimen of scum compared with the editorial writers at The NZH, DomPost & The Press. In his scrap with the msm, I'm cheering for the Baubled One (the lesser of two evils).

Don't shag the JAFAs!

Gay HIV epidemic up North with 1 new reported case every four days. 77% of new HIV cases are from Auckland/Northland. One advantage of having less than supermodel looks is it lessens chances of Close Encounters of the AIDS kind. My only advice: Keep your pants on north of the Bombays. So that's why it's called "Tamaki-makau-rau" (Tamaki of a thousand lovers).

oh, stop being a crybaby!
Chris Moller, NZRU topdog pouts up a storm over Ozzy's vote for Japan re 2011 Rugby World Cup.

"the wounds of that disappointment will not heal easily"

Get over yourself, ya big sook! It's Thanksgiving Day. Be grateful that:

• We're the 2011 hosts
• We've won back the Tri-Nations
• We retained the Bledisloe
• We're about to complete a grand slam tour of GB&I
  

Who gizza toss about the Austrayans? Their rugby sucks at the moment. What is it so far? 7 losses on the trot? Yikes, demote them to rugby minnow-hood status! Not worth cryin' over, Mr Moller.

You know you're complacent when... your biggest worry is your karaoke choice before a rugby test. Personally, I like ka mate, ka mate best. The whole violent-throat-slashing-movement hoohah is a silly distraction; haka is meant to be violent & to intimidate. Perhaps they're confusing it with Swan Lake.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY, AMERICA!

Have a great National Holiday, y'all!

Thank you America for:
Help in World Wars; MTV, Elvis, Britney & Madonna & developing the Performing Arts to undreamt of levels of creativity, innovation, and inspiration; Being a friend to Israel; Star Wars & Sci-fi; The Mormon Church (lifetime gratitude for help with genealogies); Motown, Disco & RnB; amazing life-saving & life-enhancing technology, especially the Internet (thanks Mr former vice president); KFC, McD's & Pizza Hutt; Ford Cars; Microsoft Windows - works for (near-computer illiterate) me!; Rampant Capitalism; Rush Limbaugh; MAD magazines; Seinfeld & The Nanny, thanks for all the laughs; Shiploads of AID & cash to every disaster & hell-hole on the globe - & nobody seems to thank you for it - so Thank You sincerely for your kindess.

And thanks, US Music Industry, for not suing all those Maori haka groups who've been - ahem - "appropriating" your melodies since the 1930s. Quite seriously, kapa haka would never have evolved to its present sophistication without those catchy commercial tunes. All current (& future) KH exponents are indebted to you through musical lineage.

Helen above the law

David Benson-Pope, Minister for Tennis, will not be charged for assaulting schoolkids despite there being a prima facie case. Supt. Fraser says:

"The decision-making in this case rests with me and I have reached my decision after weighing up all the information and advice available to me"

Loada crap. The decision came from Helen's lapdog, Commissioner Robinson (thankfully due to retire) via Helen's crony & Asst Commissioner, Lynn Provost (a civilian appointed with NO prior policing experiencing and DEEPLY unpopular within the ranks). It's a worry that Helen & her minions have become legally 'untouchable' in this way. More worrying, is it'll continue if Provost becomes Chief Cop next year - a disaster on many levels.
Just like Clark, she's a 'diversity'-spouting, multiculti-loving 'academic' heavily keen on quotas, "social-justice", and minority rights issues. She's a geek-girl, too (in the post-INCIS debacle era).
Helen's already turned our soldiers into "peace-keepers" - she wants to turn our cops into social workers. The feminizing of our country continues. The end result is, of course, a less effective police force, and whaddaya know... more crime.

But back to Dave B.P. To be honest, 22 years is a long time to wait to complain We need some type of Statute of Limitations, IMO. To be really honest, I was hoping (in a spiteful, nasty way) that B.P. would be gone over this. Of all Labour's nasties, he creeps me out the most*, even more than Margaret Wilson! BP was returned to his electorate by a huge majority, I wonder if his present fate would have differed had his election night result been closer?

*Update: Sorry, Tim Barnett is creepier than DB-P. Actually, it's a tough one - there's a LOT of stiff competition in the LP!

More bad news for cops with Labour admitting the 1000 extra police promised, as per NZF's coalition deal, won't all make it to the frontline. Instead, says Annette King, bolstered numbers will comprise 'police staff' - which could mean practically anything. Expect a surge in consultants, advisers, researchers & managers to join the police payroll, knowing Labour & its fetish for bureaucracy. Maybe Lynn Provost is already eyeing up her pick of "sensitivity trainers" and "diversity specialists" to help the cops become more 'inclusive' and 'community-minded'. God help us!

Good news for Maori TV?

Maori TV makes a $3mil surplus in its first year. Ka pai! Chief exec, Jim Mather, boasts:

"viewers increased from a monthly cumulative average of 327,800 in July 2004 to a peak of 426,300 in April this year"

But Gerry Brownlee has doubts, as the annual report (most unusually) doesn't disclose full ratings statistics.

"We have never been allowed to see the official comparative ratings figures, so we don't know whether the taxpayer is getting value for money out of its significant spend on Maori TV"

He's got a point there! Why the secrecy? Are they hiding a ratings catastrophe? A cynic might think so.
And where's the accountability to the public footing the bill? It's not a good look for MTS, I'm afraid. It makes Maoris look dodgy and sneaky - as if we needed any help!

I'm saddened coz I like Bro TV. I adore Julian Wilcox and always try to catch his news bulletins. I love his deep resonant voice, his gorgeous elongated vowels & sensuous eliding diphthongs, like the glides of a slide guitar. Most of all, he's astonishingly handsome! Our very own on-screen Maori super-babe.

It can be a discombobulating experience watching MTV. One doco, Anna from Benin, featured an African girl, who spoke French throughout, with Maori subtitles. Very head-spinny. I also crack up watching Te Karere sometimes. They have English subtitles now, but when showing a person actually speaking English, they overdub it with a Maori translation, but continue with the English subtitles - LOL, I'm not sure what that's all about.

"And then along came John"

Mr Tamihere elected to the newly expanded board (15 members) of the Waipareira Trust. As per the general rule of Maori politics, it was a rowdy, messy affair with many surprising (interim?) resolutions that promise much nasty future infighting. How's this?

Waipareira whanau members forced the board to back down on a constitutional amendment passed last month aimed at preventing Mr Tamihere's re-election.

Yup, that sounds like marae politics to me. LOL - Disregard all the decisions of previous hui, ignore the constitution (and those 'annoying' legal obligations), then vote spur-of-the-moment on the prevailing whims of whomever happens to be present.

John claims he's concerned that $9mil of the trust's shares and assets is unaccounted for. He has his sights set on chief exec, Reg Ratahi, who reckons:

"I've heard from associates [that] he's coming back for utu, and that's not the right reason to go back on any board"

ROTFL! You betcha he's out for some payback! C'mon, Mr Ratahi, you know as well as I, the significance of retribution as a motivating force in 'Maori affairs.' Why the feigned indignation?

OTOH, I'm not a huge John fan for various reasons and past experiences.
OTOH, It'd be churlish to deny his many achievements. Channeled properly, his considerable talents (wasted otherwise) would be an enormous asset for any Maori org.
That he clearly enjoys much support from the Waipareira whanau speaks for itself. That's the Maori political equivalent of saying, "the people have spoken."
So be it!

Hard to swallow...
A mini-union frenzy is brewing as Matt McCarten urges Starbucks workers to down their aprons in support of a campaign to increase minimum wage. Many staff appear disgruntled with their scarce pay - which makes you wonder why they signed their employment contract in the first place...

Couldn't care less, either way. After Starbucks decided against sending any of their coffee to the US troops in Iraq, I haven't patronised them since, and have no intention to do so ever again.
Besides, Real Maoris drink Instant! ;-)

NEWSFLASH!!

An historical event, unprecedented in kiwi journalism just occured!

New Zealand's mainstream media actually published a non-accusatory, non-defamatory, non-derogatory article about President George W Bush! I can barely believe it myself!

"Bush sends turkeys to Disneyland"

Enjoy it while it lasts! Like Halley's comet, it's a once in a lifetime moment!

Who writes these friggin' headlines?

Showing the lax regard for truth -- for which the Herald is renown -- headline screams: "Muslim-hater gets jail for racist abuse." Yet the article itself later states he was actually sentenced for: threatening to kill a cop, possession of a knuckleduster & dope pipe, and assault.
The judge himself, sounds like your typical (guilty) white, liberal dimwit in (erroneously) condemning this "extreme racial prejudice." Clue time, your honour: 'muslim' is not a 'race' or an 'ethnicity' - it's a RELIGION adhered to by many mixed races and ethnicities. It's worrying to see judges making such clumsy statements based on sloppy, uncritical thinking, with so little discernment of detail or attention to basic common facts.

Maori-Wannabe Alert: Baffling to hear Chris Tremaine give much of his maiden speech in Maori! I would laugh if it wasn't so nose-wrinklingly cringe-worthy. Oh, no:

"the spirit, the wairua, of New Zealand is in me...
"To me this is the very essence of being tangata whenua..."

Are you sure you're in the right party, buddy? Plenty of room in the Greens for mushy idealists. Labour, too, a haven for paternalistic do-gooders. Not to mention Tariana's crowd who'll heartily endorse your overly romanticised (yet highly fictitious) rose-tinted view of Te Natives.

Mr Tremaine, speak English! It's OK, you're a white guy, it's what they do in NZ. Surely someone who feels so 'essentially' Kiwi should have figured this out by now.
Mr Tremaine, the primary function of a language is to 'communicate' - all the frilly, poetry stuff mere icing on the cake. If you speak Te Reo you are EXCLUDING the majority of, not just NZers, but more importantly your very own colleagues! By doing so you inadvertently create divisions and foment suspicion, ill-will, and more racial discord.

I'm beginning to think We're Doomed. When the Nats start singing from the 'progressive' hymn sheet, all hope for us 'mainstream' folk is lost.

Here's a Maori language lesson for ya!
Tutae = Excrement
Puru = Bull

Quiz: Translate the following phrase into English: "tutae puru"

An excellent example of tutae puru is the NZH's account of the "haunting" tears & laments to greet the return of Maori remains to Te Papa. The ceremony apparently powerful enough to elevate anonymous preserved body parts to the status of 'revered' ancestors. Aren't posthumous honours usually bestowed only on persons of known identity? The article extensively quotes Te Tahu White, TP spokesman & biculturalism regurgitator, whose treacly effusions recycle every cliche in the token-Maori handbook. His inaccuracies & distortions too numerous to cite individually, but one particular inconsistency stands out:

"Ask yourself this: How would you feel if it was your grandmother or grandfather three times removed? Of their head being on display or their body parts being probed, without being given the decency of a burial, or offering family the opportunity to grieve"

Fair point, perhaps. But ask yourself this, Mr White: How would you feel if your grandchildren were ABORTED with the tacit consent of the Health and Education Ministries, and that these "body parts" were then disposed of, WITHOUT the decency of a burial, family grieving opportunity - or even your consent or knowledge! If you were truly concerned about "whakapapa connections," then the state-sanctioned murder of every child conceived by a Maori schoolgirl (and all subsequent generations doomed thereafter) should sicken you to the fibre of your being.

But no! Like most inchoate leftist 'thinkers,' Mr White is extremely selective in his outrage.

I hate to sound wishy-washy, but...

...I'm actually starting to warm to the cuisenaire sculpture I bagged earlier
* It's got a real 'Mondrian' look about it.
* It reminds me of the twin towers.
* The use of Cuisenaire (maths) & Te Atarangi (language) can be likened to two 'pillars' or 'success stories' in NZ's history of teaching methods.
* The name "Atarangi II" can be pronounced Atarangi "Tu" (upright, heavenwards) - the blocks seem to 'soar' upwards. Like Tane's ascension to the heavens to fetch the kete of knowledge. Like the (cuisenaire) student gaining enlightenment.
* "Tu" can also mean noble & proud. They are two very 'dignified' looking rods, IMHO. Erect, soldier-like, disciplined & meticulously presented.

There are interesting contrasts between colours and form:
* The very bold, lurid hues depict wild, erupting passions, yet the harshly, minimal physical design implies constriction and restraint.
* The 'diagonal' colour scheme suggests instability, as if the sculpture were about to tumble. At the same time, the rods have precise, sharp horizontal and synchronised 'poses' - stoic orderliness and unyielding containment.
* The seemingly 'random' colours evince the carefree innocence of toddlers, as if toys left scattered in an empty room.Yet the construction of such a 'perfect stack' is a major engineering achievement for any youngster. The concentration, motor and sensory skills required is no mere child's play.

NZPA are Big Girly Wimps

Well done, lads!
Fifty of our SAS boys will return after 6 month stint in Afghanistan. Atlhough Goff's media statement is pure puffery, it's still enough to swell your heart with pride:

"The SAS have played an important role in.. counter[ing] terrorism & restor[ing] stability to Afghanistan.. Their presence.. has been critical.. to constrain the influence of Al Qaeda & Taliban elements.. [and] helped ensure... the first-ever [Afghani] elections.. in September."

The militantly pacifist NZPA, as usual, gives undue prominence to the Greens. On cue, Keith Locke wets his pants:

"the operation appeared to be failing, with casualties & the level of insurgent activity growing despite a four-year campaign"

What an utter pantload! I revile the Greens not so much for their pacifism & incurable pessimism with blind refusal to see any benefits of military intervention, but for the lying and sophistry needed to justify their positions.

Eye-sore!
Good to see Auckland challenging Wellington for the title of NZ's Crap-art Capital. Two 12-metre high 'cusiniaire rods' with a token Maori name. Please! How is that meant to be aesthetically appealing? Or visually interesting? Or mentally stimulating? Or sensually arousing? It isn't! It's crap! And a lot of people just got ripped off funding this pitiful hoax by a no-talent con-artist.

I hope the local community has the last say - and it gets plastered with graffiti! At least bombing requires real artistic skill and craftmanship.
Update & "oops" moment: I've changed my mind. I like them now. See entry above.


because we've got nothing better to worry about...
Dried-up has-been & ARC member, Sandra Coney, up-in-arms over cartoon pukeko's glowing appraisal of the "nice birds" in town.

"Advertising shouldn't make jokes at the expense of women"

Ain't feminists just a barrel of laughs! The women's agency that produced the ad should run a 'get humour' campaign for their thin-skinned sisters still trapped in a grim 1970's man-hating time-warp. Is this really a priority for the ARC? Do Auckland's voters not have more pressing concerns?

In trying to inflame this non-story, the NZPA reveal their true selves as a herd of callow, vapid bubble-heads. Is a cartoon bird really newsworthy? Who gives a flying fig? Fluff-journalism at its most asinine!

monday blues...

An official from the UN (Useless Nitwits) has announced that Maori have repeatedly had their sovereignty thwarted. The lastest gripe being Labour's landgrab over the foreshore & seabed. Hmmm, for all the gnashing of teeth over Clark's Gubmint, I notice the tangata whenua were still keen to re-elect them - talk about sleeping with the enemy! When will they ever learn? A govt only responds to the ballot box.

The Hag has her $00.2 worth; a mouthful of empty political nothing-speak. She hopes:

"he will go away with a well-rounded view of Maoridom in New Zealand"

I bet she really 'hopes' he just "goes away" full-stop! No need to exhume the bones of that pesky FS&SB issue, eh Hel's?

Oh, Good Lord! I hope he goes away too! Listen to this malarkey:

"ethnic & cultural diversity was a fact of life that "should not, that cannot be ignored" when it came to policy...
"indigenous peoples or racial or cultural minorities - have.. a long history [as] victims of discrimination.. colonisation.. oppression.. apartheid.. exploitation.. segregation...
"The "one law for all" argument assumed the playing field was level, but "not everybody has the same opportunities at birth ... So.. states [should] take that into account when they formulate.. policies"

He's another flaming, fruit-cake diversity-drone expecting certain "victim" groups should enjoy special legal status & privilege. No, you Useless Nitwit! That type of legal "discrimination" always breeds resentment and further strife. When one class of people are given preferential treatment to correct a 'perceived injustice', it ALWAYS creates another 'injustice' to the majority who are thus denied equal treatment and opportunity before the law.

Questions for the Haters & Wreckers: Pure self-interest notwithstanding, why is Mike Smith & co so keen on supporting the U.N.? Why do Maori seeking tino rangatiratanga (autonomy, self-rulership) and demanding tauiwi butt out of local affairs, why do they suddenly want a bunch of wonky foreigners playing Judge Almighty? Why give credence to a 'foreign' (tauiwi) body? Who gave them a (Maori) mandate to make rulings about our internal affairs? What if the UN had ruled differently? Would Maori have cared? I don't think so...

Why should anyone listen to what the Useless Nitwits have to say about anything, anyway?
All these hui & talks are a lot of hot air. Perhaps thats why our greenhouse gases have risen by 22%.

Go, the Blacks!

We won the rights to host the 2011 World Rugby Cup. Finally, the NZRFU managed to not stuff something up. The NZH goes into bum-kiss overdrive in lauding Helen, beacon of Kiwi hope and saviour of the universe. I'll forgo TV for the next few days to avoid the Clark love-fest. Elsewhere, our media hacks treat the winning bid with the significance of The Second Coming. Some perspective, please! Meanwhile, our trans-Tasman 'friends' not so friendly in giving their vote to Japan. I was worried that they'd finish their GB tour with 9 losses in a row. Not anymore; let the treacherous ockers wallow in defeat.

Pita Sharples weighs in on the 'women at powhiri' debate with surprising lucidity and reason. Although he's careful not to reveal the true reason women don't speak on marae. Namely, given their propensity to gasbag, if we allow them to speak they'll never shut up :-)

Peachey keen...
The 'other' MP for Tamaki, Allan Peachey pulls no punches either, with an impassioned harangue at the cesspool of soul-destroying Marxism inhabiting (my beautiful city of) Wellington:

"There can be no place for a mean-spirited and socialist ideology which subordinates the individual to the ill-defined greater good of the state. History will shame those who seek to impose the crushing mediocrity of collectivism on our communities"

I think I'm in love :-)
His maiden speech easily outshines Bennet's warm-fuzzy future and Hayes' dour nostalgia.

Feline eloquence
I'm amazed at the extensive repertoire of noises my cats are capable of. Along with the mundane meows, hisses, and howls, my talented moggies can also emit clicks, lip-smacks, moans, growls, yawn-like sighs, plus a wide variety of ultra-vibrato purrs. Very impressive!

Hey, Kofi! Byte me!

Claudia Rosett, the journalist whose investigative efforts helped expose the United Nations' Oil-for-Food scandal, gives a timely smack-down to the World Summit on the Information Society in Tunis. An excellent response to Kofi's palaver about the 'digital divide'. Thank goodness, sanity has prevailed with ICAAN retaining daily control of Al Gore's baby.

If the UN grafters, despots and kleptocrats (or anyone else for that matter) doesn't approve of the Internet that America built, they are free to log off or build their own network.

LMAO
Pare sends me a philosophical e-mail:

Life is all about ass;
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or dealing with someone behaving like one .....

the two faces of Tariana

Tariana says TMP supports the Taxation (Annual Rates and Urgent Measures Bill). She applauds the interest write-off on student loans, parroting the old cannard about a "free" education being an 'investment our future'. So far, so left! Then in a startling burst of right-wingery (and despite voting FOR the Working for Familes package) she declares:

"Our preference would have been for lower taxes for these families. We cannot understand why it is that tax is taken from a low wage worker and then given back to them, under another name."

So that's what Rodney's been chatting to her about during their recent, cosy tete-a-tetes :-)
Revealing her inner-neocon, she explains:

"By the Government redistributing the tax, they deny the initiative, entrepreneurship, and creativity that should be rewarded by a higher working pay"

What to make of this logic-defying, contortionist, fence straddling? Perhaps being "bi-cultural" means always being able to see both sides of the coin?
Maybe it's a Maori thing ;-)
Ask Winny, the Minister in/outside of Govt.

news to moan & marvel at

heads up...
The mokomokai issue raises its ugly head again with the repatriation of 3 tattooed skulls from Glasgow museum.

"These are the remains of the dead ancestors of someone," said James Te Puni, of Te Papa.
"They will be someone's great, great grandfather back in NZ, so it's important that they be returned home"

This is madness. Since the descendents of these 'heads' are unknown, to whom should they be returned? If Te Papa retains guardianship, what difference does it make to 'aggrieved descendents' whether they're held in a 'pakeha' museum here or a 'pakeha' institution overseas. Most likely they'll end up locked away in a vault, unseen by the viewing public.

This thorny topic prompts further questions. Should Te Papa return its mummy skeleton to Egypt? Should the remains of our fallen soldiers likewise be returned? And what of other foreign artefacts in our care? Give 'em back? The axiom "finders, keepers" seems apt to me.

Techno-thrills...
The BluGene/L system reaches new supercomputing record 280.6 teraflops (1 teraflop = one trillion calculations per second), compared to a sedate 91 teraflops of the 2nd fastest, Watson Blue Gene. A list of the top 500 supermachines here. [hattip 'toonist]

and spills...
Scary news about Sony using rootkit 'spyware' technology to prevent people pirating their DVDs. The application installs itself, can't be (easily) uninstalled and it may interefere with a system's security. [hattip 'eagle]

NZ green...
Our PM suggests the US should 'move on' from the NZ no-nuke stalemate, dismissing comments by US ambassador that the "ball is in our court." For a pragmatic lass, she's remarkably naive to believe Uncle Sam will ever turn a blind eye to our shunning of warships. It's also naive to believe our stance will soften any time soon. Remember Brash's painful hedging and vacilation during the campaign? If he's our Great White Hope, then forgetaboudit! Remember also when ACT introduced a bill allowing nuke-propelled ships in? Not one single MP from any other party voted for it. We need a good war to shake ourselves from our lazy, smug, pacifist wimpiness. God Defend New Zealand, coz we sure won't be able to do it, ourselves.

dig archaeology?
Reuters has a photo of a pottery fragment, recently unearthed in Israel, inscribed with the name "Goliath." Checks out pretty well with the scholars. Could be the McCoy...

Hear, hear!

"ko ta te rangatira kai he korero"
the food of chiefs is discussion

Obituary: Tama Poata
Pita Sharples & Tariana Turia release statement farewelling Tama. A nice tribute.

~/~

The Te Ra o Te Reo ("Maori language day") Festival was opened today with Tariana wildy eulogising NZ's indigenous tongue in an effusive, ornamental speech... in English. Good thing it wasn't Pita, with his PhD in linguistics & passion for te reo, we might've endured a Guiness Book type soapboxing.

~/~

Speaking of World Records, count the number of cliches in Maharoa Okeroa's speech. This was manufactured by a computer program, has to be! I'm somewhat alarmed when he says,

"Over the past 6 years Maori have gained wide spread recognition to explode on the national and international stages"

Confusing us with Muslims, perhaps?

~/~

Not to be outshone, Mr Harawira shows he's a dab hand at Te Reo Parliament. The melifluous bureaucrat wants,

"an urgent briefing on the numbers, characteristics and experiences of children and young people across the range of places in which they may be detained"

Parekura & Maharey have taught him well! Not just eloquent, but highly ingenious - he recommends,

"[CYA] try.. a night in the cells.. to think of better ways to respond to youth offending"

(I thought there wasn't enough room) And in an enlightened moment finally realises,

"our police are not equipped... to respond to the complex needs of our young people"

Neither, we'd argue, are politicians full of high-falutin rhetoric. Who is primaily responsible for Maori youth crime, Hone? Clue: "It's all about whanau" - where have I heard that phrase before?


I shouldn't really knock the Maori Party...
not after I ticked Monte Ohia on Sep. 17- not that it helped - plus I really do like Tariana. I'm AMAZED people find her scary* - especially after her 'soft' makeover since leaving Labour. Most'd be surprised at efforts to distance TMP from the real 'haters & wreckers' -- a point not lost on the Tino Rangatiratanga fringe. Poor Tariana! Even the radicals aren't impressed - LOL. For a so-called 'hardliner' she's more airy, flakey & new-agey IMO. Perfect example is her vision of a world without violence. ROTFL. Someone remind her we ALSO descend from Tu-mata-u-enga, God of War!

* My 'scary' rankings for TMP:

1 - Hone :-o
2 - Pita
3 - Te Ururoa
4 - Tariana :-)

TU edges out TT for the bronze medal coz he's Labour deep-down, far more so than TT.

serene Sunday

the game they play in heaven
All Blacks hammer Ireland 45-7 in Dublin. Shame they let in the late try. Shame I slept through it AND the replay this mornin' (a sign of l'Age d'Old methinks). Oh well, could've been worse I could've been an Ozzy. The Lucky Country not so fortunate crashing to a seventh consecutive defeat, 26-16 to England, their biggest losing streak in 36 years. That must be why they're seeking divine intervention.

no bias here...
Ridiculous ruminations about Gerry Brownlee's colleagues unhappy with their Maori affairs spokesman. No actual names mentioned, no unhappy quotes or grumpy Nats cited, just insinuation & vague whisperings from anonymous disgruntled "sources." This is cheap rumour-mongering; disappointing from a political journo. Oh, I forgot - it's the Herald on Sunday. Well, there you go...

Could it be our msm are slowly cottoning on the threat of Islamic fascism? Cops becoming suspicious of Islamic fundraisers here in NZ. Lucky we live in "an incredibly benign strategic environment," eh Helen?

Reinforcing my disdain for the msm (& Helen) is last night's Qantas TV Awards.
Mark Sainsbury, head Clark-sycophant, gets Best Current Affairs Presenter. (The lengths they'll go to get get rid of their Sue Woods problem!) :-)
Marc Ellis, Most Popular Male Personality, evidence enough of our shallow talent pool. He's Sport's Cafe funniest presenter and deserves it for blokiness alone (& the lack of decent competition). I woulda picked Newsboy for his irreverent pranksterism & acutely perceptive intellectualism - The thinking man's comic.
Janet McIntyre - TV journalist of the year. Oh, gimme a break!

Perhaps that's why MPs are gunning for inquiries in to TVNZ. Both Finance & Expenditure and the Commerce select committees have numbers to demand an investigation into our shonky public broadcaster. Go, Rodney! I promise you my party vote in 2008... or sooner... hopefully ;-)

obstreperous obstetricians
Amid increasing chaos in our child birth services, 5% of midwives refuse to conduct proper internal examinations decrying it 'inappropriate' & an "invasion of privacy." Despite patient requests & medical expertise accumulated over centuries, some midwives feel the procedure too "intrusive." Yeah, well come labour & birth time it's gonna feel pretty 'intrusive' alright! Can't believe these dipsticks are entrusted with delivering our pepi. When feminist & Maori ideologies trump science & technology we're regressing to shamanism & witch-doctoring.

more medical mishaps
Dr Pervert wants his job back after: [1] taking pics of his genitals, [2] downloading pics to work computer, and [3] sending to wrong e-mail address. The guy needs hospital care, preferably a lobotomy. Coz unless you're an on-line doctor specialising in do-it-yourself-urology, there can be no excusing. Luckily, my email's configured to not accept other people's "attachments."

Unbelievable

I Can't Believe...

1. There wasn't ONE news article today that didn't p*ss me off enough to start moaning about it.
2. It's been 5 days straight without ONE crybaby police-bashing article @ the NZH
3. How much porn there is on the net & how many specialised categories of smut there is catering to all tastes. There's some sick puppies out there.
4. Victoria University has 2 islamic prayer rooms. Why are we appeasing this death cult?
5. Mike King's Penguin History of NZ was a best-seller. That is, I can't believe those that bought it managed to slog all the way through its numbingly tedious prose.
6. The Home Detention scheme. How can staying in the relative freedom & luxury of your house be called "punishment"? What flakey weirdo thought up this scheme?
   
7. I might not ever have kids :-( What a waste of my brilliant DNA! ;-)
8. We import plums from California. Plums?!!? They're everywhere! They're practically a weed! Why import them from the other side of the world?
9. The lionization of Achmed Zaoui, & the amount of $$$ & effort he's cost us. Send him home!
10. How easy it is to ruin a cop's career by merely annoying the right people at National headquarters.
    

political 'I Can't Believe's...

1. 40% of Kiwis voted for the Hag - after 6 long years of her.
   
2. How many Maoris voted for her. You deserve your crappy lives!
   
3. 5% voted Greens. 1 in 20 kiwis is a Major Fruitcake Painty-waist. Scary!
   
4. Anyone thinks the US will amend foreign policy merely to accomodate our anti-nuke whims.
   
5. Hone Harawira urging Maori to give Labour the party vote.
6. Hone being sucked in by Shane Jones' "Nat scare" that lead to #5. Can't believe HH's gullibility & SJ's ruthless cunning.
   
7. The Maori Party encouraging open immigration. Hello? Remember the 1800s?
   
8. God allowed Phil Goff back after constantly dissing Israel.
9. How sleazy Winston the Baubled One really is. (only slowly dawning on me - Duh!!)
   
10. I voted National - 1st time ever. Ditto my sisters. I can't believe we're 'Tories' now :-) I can't believe I actually voted for Don "The Maori-Killer" ;-)
    

the weekend at last...

There's our boy!
Rodney Hide seeks an inquiry into TVNZ. About time:

"We've had the CEO quit but stay on full pay. . a very damaging court case with Susan Wood that TVNZ lost.. ratings slide, taxpayer value is lost,

"TVNZ is demoralised & directionless. It's the proper role of the finance & expenditure select committee to take an interest on behalf of the public of NZ in the investment and ongoing funding taxpayers provide to TVNZ."

Sing it, brother! There's quiet grumblings from the Nats, too. I'm with everyone who thinks we should just sell the dang thing. Odd this news hasn't been mentioned (yet) at TVNZ's news site.

LOL
Our new American ambassador has a sense of humour. Asked why he was appointed by the prez:

"I was the only guy he could find that was better looking than he was."

Well, he must be Fine Indeed if he's cuter than our Dubya :-)

Ouch!!...
...er ...actually ...that wasn't so bad after all!
Guy roughed up by cops gets $10K in damages. Nice work if you can get it.

Southern Belles
Nutcase who 'accidentally' killed husband with 48 sleeping pills, recalls final words:

"He made a 'grrrererrerewre' noise,"

Parting is such sweet sorrow:

"I thought f**k - I better do something about it. So I got my spade and dug a hole."

What can ya say? Calm under duress? #8-wire kiwi ingenuity? Sounds like old-fashioned, cold-blooded scum, to me. They'll be plenty chances to dig holes in the gardens at Arohata. Go to jail, you loopy tart!

Te Hokinga Mai
Pania's back amid a flourish of fanfare. Napier's favourite daughter to receive formal welcome upon return. Unsure whether a powhiri will be included (or where Nat women will sit at such event).

RIP, Tama Poata

He Aitua

Katahi ano, ka tae te rongo, kua hemo a Tama Te Kapua Poata i tona kainga ki Makara.

Haere ra, e hika, ki to wa kainga
Hoki ki nga tipuna, ki a Ruataupare
Noho i te poho o Hine-nui-te-Po
Moe mai ra i to moenga roa
Haere, haere, haere atu ra

Inanahi ra, ka haria a Tama e te whanau pani ki te Horo o Makara, takoto ai.

Aue, taukuri e!
Papaki taku uma,
ka mapu,
ka aroha ki ona karangatanga maha me ona whanaunga

RIP, e hoa.

Tena, ka huri ki a tatou te hungaora... Tihei Mauriora!

E kii ana te e-mail (tena koe, GP) e whakapaohotia ana i runga i te TRT listserv:

Known to many as an activist in the areas of Maaori trade union and socialist politics, and land rights issues. The coining of the HART ("Halt All Racist Tours") name for the anti-Springbok Tours umbrella coalition was attributed to Tama (also a Nga Tamatoa activist) in the late sixties. He was also a noted screenwriter (Ngati) and film-maker (Te Hokioi Films)

BIG FAT PASS on the commie, union rubbish! Engari ano, e tika ana me poroporoaki ratou ma kua wehe atu. Farewell, e Tama. Haere ra.

I need to get out more

WANTED: A life.
Inspired by an American cyber-pal, I've decided to commit one hour p/w to becoming a troll site-pest on some of those (kiwi) commie, lefty, progressive chat rooms & email lists. Hoping to annoy, provoke & become general nuisance. Until I get booted off, of course - then I'll have to do the hotmail thing & repeat.

I feel all those LPG voters deserve it, and that's what a 'good opposition' should do - heckle them.

It is morally allowable as their sins of idiocy should not go unpunished. Besides, they annoyed me first, so it's retribution. I only ask that "justice" be served :-)

Article of the Month

Sublime reading: "Internet Killed the Alien Star"

How & why UFO sightings & abductions (in America, at least) are becoming rarer as everyday technology advances.

Must-watch crap TV show of the Month: Project Runway
Travesty of the Month: Austin not winning best dress for his lovely, floral number in Project Runway
Fave new word OTM: "Mulatto" - half-caste, but sounds like a yummy exotic coffee
Brilliant kiwi genuis OTM: Jeremy Wells
Fave rerun OTM: LOST
Islamaniac highlight OTM: Paris riots
Caint git that song outta ma head OTM: "Te Kokako" - Hirini Melbourne
Regret OTM: I'm such a lazy, useless b*stard
Painfully honest self-realisation OTM: See above
Irrational fear OTM: mercury in fillings is causing insomnia
Never-tried-before taste sensation OTM: Nutella chocolate spread on fresh bread
Cruel blow of fate OTM: realising the object of my unrequited love is not The One
Neurosis OTM: refusal to accept The One really 'isn't' and fantasising regardless
Overhyped bore I plan to studiously ignore in future OTM: King Kong
Thing requiring serious thought OTM: Getting broadband unlimited for under $30 p/w
I'll never buy that again item OTM: Liebestraum in a cast
I'll never do that again deed OTM: Drink half cast of Liebestraum on empty stomach, puke violently. Next day repeat with same results.
Dysmorphic Body Image problem part OTM: my shocking fingernails
Thank God I'm not one of those OTM: Green party supporter in post-Donald era
Really bugging me like never before OTM: My cats' extreme fussy eating habits

Ozzy

Wallabies Squad vs Poms at Twickenham this Saturday:

Chris Latham, Mark Gerrard, Lote Tuqiri, Morgan Turinui, Drew Mitchell, Mat Rogers, George Gregan (c), George Smith, Phil Waugh, John Roe, Nathan Sharpe, Hugh McMeniman, Al Baxter, Brendan Cannon, Matt Dunning.
RESERVES: Tatafu Polata-Nau, Greg Holmes, Mark Chisholm, Scott Fava, Chris Whitaker, Matt Giteau, Wendell Sailor.

Just a thought: If they lose to England, Ireland & Wales on this tour, that's 9 in a row. NINE!

Janet Albrechtsen nicely slaps-down the increasingly shrill & erratic Germaine Greer, over women's rights in Islam and vapid Western hypocrisy. JA is always superb.

Major Breakthrough in understanding of Parkinson's disease. Neuroscientists find dopamine-protein link in cell destruction in sufferers. Discovery heralds new areas of research for treatment focusing on chemical interactions leading to symptoms of PD, rather than treating the symptoms themselves. Awesome news for those of us with loved ones afflicted by horrendous degenerative nervous disorders. Truly some of the cruelest of deaths.

Baby killers

Routine Genocide Kiwi-style

"The number of abortions performed in NZ dropped last year, for the first time since 1998."

18,211 New Zealanders murdered last year.

Death toll = six "9/11"s

Where is the outrage?

Mercifully number is 300 fewer than previous year.

Pray for these most innocent, most defenceless of souls.

I hate baby-killing.

hey, Paddy - get O'ver yourself

Irish eyes definitely aren't smiling... in Dublin with publicans planning to ban Tana from entering establishments because of that O'Driscoll tackle during Lions Tour.
MEMO to Avenging Oirish-men: Move on, please!

Far better reception at Ramelton where our men in black honour Dave Gallaher, first AB captain. Very poignant.

"We hold him true and dear to our hearts not only because he led an All Black team here 100 years ago but because he gave the ultimate sacrifice..
"He gave his life defending our country.."

Thank you, Sir! We salute you!

Oops, she did it again.. Revered cultural super-icon, unabashed pres Bush supporter, and Most Purdy-est Woman in History, Britney Spears, is throwing out that putrid, HIDEOUS, loser jerk she married - thank goodness & about time. I'm in! I'm in!

They needed a judge to tell us this? More bad news for us hori blokes. Our young'ns are a Crime Bomb. (Dang! I wuz just startin' to feel good about my dahhrlin' Britney). Too depressing to dwell on [doing ostrich impression]. Btw, is this really news to anyone? (dopey leftists and cave-dwellers excluded)

They needed a study to tell us this? Our doctors are overworked and sleep deprived increasing likelihood of on-job 'performance errors'. Hope your surgeon doesn't fall asleep mid-op. Pray you never get sick. Keep that scalpel away, Snoozey!

All Gooey moment...
Adorable photo of Afghani boy in army fatigue & reminder of the good deeds of our PRT boys in Afghanistan. God bless 'em!

PC PCs?

Has our police constabulary become politically correct? Are PNHQ drinking the kool-aid from the fountain of multi-culturalism? Dep Commissioner, Steve Long, wants more Maori cops. Yes, I laughed too. Still, it's good to Know Thine Enemy (so to speak). Maoris have first-hand knowledge of life in the urban miasma with its regular cast of misfits: drunks, liars, thieves and bullies. M-cops have far deeper attunement to M psychology: values, motivations, ethics. In the war on crime, they're unsurpassed at 'intelligence gathering'.

SORE THUMB STAT: M comprise 67% of all criminals. Egads! Or Hika Ma! as the natives are wont to say. Barely 3 weeks ago they were telling us, "resolved crime" figures were a mere 44%. So are we committing 67% of the 44% of crimes resolved? Or 67% of some other (as yet uncalculated - possibly incalculable) figure? Enquiring Maoris want to know. One day, in a burst of frenetic nerdiness, I'm gonna crunch all those Justice Dept stats. Until then, my suspicio-meter remains ON (but happy to be proved wrong).

More dumbing down of Godzone with the unfortunate news of industrial scientists becoming redundant. More evidence of kiwi manufacturing decline? Further brain drain? Or were they brilliant scientists but hopeless business people? Sincerest hopes they can get jobs elsewhere... or else that knowledge-wave hui really was just another big gab-fest after all (but we suspected that already).

I hope it's John-the-Lefty...
Possibly the only thing Helen Clark & I agree on is that the host of Campbell Live is a "little creep." I'd be stoked to find he's the lecherous TV schmuck accused of 'improprieties' after drunken work bash at home. Mind you, any times a good time for 'another' TVNZ scandal (IMO), especially if it shows Ms Clark and/or her govt in a bad light! Think positively!

It falls on the rich and poor alike...
Raindrops keep falling on the head of Fletcher Buildings' head-honcho, Ralph Waters. Irony anybody? Does fate have a sense of humour? :-)

Only coz we love him...
Well,... only coz he makes good copy - Gratuitous Winston fluff: Conflicting translations over the term "baubles" as uttered in the Peters' Dialect. Never known for his reticence, Rodney wins 'quip o' the day'.

"this loser over here has come up and taken the biggest bauble his greedy chops could reach around"

Scintillating oratory, Mr Hide! And that's why we love you, too.
Our political soap opera as usual. These are the days of our lives...

slouching towards Gomorrah

Eats roots and leaves?
Latex Durex survey shows average kiwi eats, roots, roots, roots and then leaves, clocking up 114 bonks p/a - the rest of the cold-showered world, a paltry 108. We're also sluttier than everyone else ('cept the Norwegians) with respect to one-night stands. Most yuckily, 65% have had unprotected sex with a partner without knowing their sex history (some folk I know do so without knowing partner's name).

We're not the only society on the slippery slope. Thomas Sowell opines on the French riots and the folly of multi-culturalism that could spell the end of Western Civ... if we let it.

The Governor General's speech from the throne douses any hope for tax cuts from this administration.

"Fiscal loosening... by way of significant tax cuts -- cannot be considered,"

reckons Dame Silvia. But some good news if:

"the telecommunications sector becomes more competitive [so] that we achieve faster broadband uptake"

Which'll mean we'll be able to idle more time away on the net, but faster. Nothing quite like wasting time 'efficiently'.

Supreme Court judge, Sir Kenneth Keith becomes the first Kiwi elected to the International Court of Justice. Congrats, and I should be glad, but truth is I don't care much for the UN or its dubious judicial branch. A bigger bunch of sleazy, corrupt, incompetent, thieving bureaucrats you never did meet. I expect the ICJ will remain a forum for suspect characters from despotic hell-holes to bring bogus charges against the US & Israel. Good on Pres Bush for tossing the ICJ to the curb! Now if he'd just dump the whole UN, too...

Not YOU again!!

Just go away...
Sue Woods has last laugh (so far) with her ERA victory, meaning she may be a TV presence for some time yet. You can take your i-pods off, kids!

Shouldn't really bag her; chief-Helenophile himself, Mark Sainsbury, would likely replace her. How indigestion-inducing! Which would only please that horrible old bag they call 'the PM', currently unhappy as the reputation of Labour's chief propaganda outlet becomes ever more sullied.

Just go away II...
Like a bout of recurring tinea, looks like Nandor Tanczos is back replacing Mr Donald (if he can pull his "distraught" self together, that is) not ony as an MP, but probably also as co-leader. Criminy! Not even the Greens deserve that! Rod's passing is tragic in more ways than one.

Just go away III...
Paying respectful tribute to Puti Murray and Rod Donald in his maiden speech, Hone Harawira reveals his gentle side. But only for a short while, before excoriating politicians far and wide:

"I have.. heard.. and seen.. the poor behaviour of.. those who would lead this nation, and I wonder at the childishness.. the point-scoring, the malicious statements.. the interruptions, the abuse, the chanting, and the sheer immaturity of.. debate"

For a minute there, I thought he was talking about marae meetings. Who'd have thought he had such tender sensibilities? Such genteel refinement! His sweet old mum must've brought him up real well.